Sunday 1 February 2009

Cat invasion! Everybody must be alert!

Unbelievable! That's the only way to describe what happened here last night. We were all sitting on the sofa (I was in the middle, nice and comfy) when suddenly we heard plaintive mewling coming from outside. I ignored it but FP went and looked out the windows, thereby encouraging the fiendish cat who was discovered on the doorstep, pretending to be hungry and cold.
Like a crazy person, FP brought in the cat and so began half hour of chaos! I had to stand my ground against a spitting, paw-swiping BEAST randomly hitting out at me. Then I had to make sure that all our perimeters were secure against further attacks (for all I knew that cat could have been the Advance Party for the Squirrel Army). When I returned to the sofa I found that the cat had occupied the dining table and was being fed milk! Slippery slope or what? I acted quickly, claiming ST as my own by jumping on him and licking his face. He seemed to enjoy that so I did it again, just to make sure. Then there was the more troublesome issue of how I could bring FP safely back to the Pack.
The cat had lured FP to the table area and was keeping her there by pretending to be weak and feeble - typical cat behaviour. Being a collie I am smart enough to realise that I had to act quickly, so I sent some vibes to ST and he started saying things like "We should put it back outside". Bless him (ST, not the cat).
Eventually normality was restored. The cat was placed outside (with some milk) and all subsequent mewling ignored. Phew. All that remained was to re-establish my total claim on FP which I did with more licking.
I can't help reflecting though that if I had still smelt strongly of fox doot this cat invasion would not have been attempted. Of course the reason I no longer smell of fox doot is because I was put in the bath yesterday and the determination that I should be bathed can be traced back to the theft I committed on the chocolate fingers. It's just like the saying goes: crime does not pay.

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