Motwoozle - will you ever understand?

Now I realise that for many of you (my devoted readers) this will not make sense but it is essential that I use this space to tell Motwoozle that it is okay to enjoy NunuThunder.

I know that in your everyday life you are downtrodden and put-upon. The significance of the phrase "dog's body" is not lost on me, you know! We have more in common than you think, Mot, except I can rip up bins at will and get away with it whereas you cannot and that is why I am still taking the rap for what you do in the living room these days! I don't mind, because I have grown fond of you over the years and know that if you and I were the only 2 living creatures left on earth you would throw Tugger for me. Yes.

Normal service resumes tomorrow people.

Seeing things...

I woke up a little bit bleary-eyed the other day and thought: "That's strange". I'm used to seeing foxes and squirrels, plenty of birds and the neighbourhood cats from my window but a couple of pandas was something of a surprise...

Charades

(click to enlarge)

We had people over last night and, after some barking games, we played charades. Above you can see me and my good friend Bella trying to enact a poignant scene from 'The Last Family In Britain', a moving story about how it is for dogs (you should all read it). Bella was representing the wisdom of the older dogs in the book through the medium of lip-licking, and I was depicting the fecklessness of spaniels by waving more than one leg in the air.

Unfortunately our game of charades was brutally interrupted by ST setting off the fire alarm. I doubt that any of you have given any serious thought to how you make an evening really special beyond providing food and drink but I'd say almost deafening guests will ensure that you enter a special place in their hearts.

I enjoyed having Bella over. I showed her my toys (although I didn't let her play with any of them) and we each enjoyed a Dentastix - which didn't make up for the fact that we didn't manage to snaffle anything from the table but you can't have everything, can you?

My Special Relationship with Postie

Over the years, Postie and I have developed what I like to think of as a Special Relationship.

I have included a couple of photo of the front door which illustrate nicely just how we feel about each other. Yes, those are muddy paw marks!

ST caught me out today. He came home from doing some shopping and I was so pleased to see him back that I forgot to check my appearance in the mirror. Basically he found me with a sliver of biscuit wrapper in my ear fur which blew the gaff on my antics whilst he was out.

It was a fair cop. I had snaffled the biscuits off FP's desk. Dark chocolate digestives - very nice.

I do not have smelly paws

Despite what FP says, I don't have smelly paws.

I have made known my great displeasure at the suggestion that I have smelly paws by refusing to have my tail brushed. I have also decided that I will claim the whole bed for myself tonight as it's expected to be a bit nippy out. The duvet is MINE! That'll teach her.

Gloomy Nunu

This is how I felt after England lost to Australia yesterday.

I've had my England rugby ball for a few years and you can see that it is deflated, tattered and not much use for kicking these days. A bit like the team.

100!

Ha Ha! My 100th posting knocks off my rant about the potato that got all the cheese - I never liked that potato.

I took the plunge this morning and lay down in the Big Muddy Puddle. Ahhhh, the cooling effect on my belly was instant and I could tell that both ST & FP were delighted to see what I was doing as they both ran towards me waving their arms in the air. The only other times I see them doing that is when their team scores.

We detoured off the usual route in the park this morning so that I could chat with Bella, a jack russell. She's coming to dinner next week and it'll be good to get another dog's opinion on how I've decided to arrange my toys in different rooms, mostly in doorways for maximum attention grabbing. After months of research I found that once a person - could be anyone - has tripped over a strategically placed toy they cannot then claim to have been unaware that toys are there to be played with.

Muddy Paws

Sometimes at the back of the garden by the fence, next to the ComposterMonster the ground turns to mush and because I have to go to this place on important missions to clear foxes out of my territory I arrive back in the house with Muddy Paws.
I think we can all agree that this is Not My Fault, but rather it is the fault of any or all of the following:

• The ComposterMonster
• The foxes
• The rain
• The continuing failure of the grass to grow in this area.

The reason Muddy Paws is an issue is because ST has thing about the staircase carpet always being covered in Muddy Paw Marks.

Again, Not My Fault. The staircase suffers generally because of any or all of the following:

• FP's really too sleepy/stupid in the morning to stop me after I come back in from my first foray of the day into the garden
• I am really fast
• The carpet itself is really stupid to just lie there and take it.

Kong Wubba - the last days

Kong Wubba's almost entirely unstitched! At any moment it could all unravel and I'll be left with a bit of soggy rag and a blue tennis ball. Sigh.

I've had a lot of enjoyment out of Kong Wubba (KW) after what can only be described as a slow start:

KW came into our lives on one of FP's whims in Pets @ Home. I was checking out the treats aisle and she came along with this toy. To make her happy (and so that she'd buy some of the treats I was indicating with my ears as being of interest to me) I licked it without really taking a proper look. Next thing, it's in the car and many of the treats I had been hankering after were still in the shop. Clearly I was more interested in analysing why my ears had failed to bring me all the treats I wanted despite being fully extended in that special collie way and not so much in this blue, supposedly indestructible, double-squeaker mechanism'd usurper of Tugger's place on a walk in the park.

I remember vividly how once FP had realised that I was not going to chase KW on that walk she let 2 terriers have a go at it. They nearly went crazy shaking it about like a rat!

After that walk KW was left in the car for ages and I forget how it was brought into the house but one day I discovered that the double-squeak mechanism was an awesome way to get ST and FP off the phone when I was feeling like having all their attention. I'd say it's almost impossible to talk sensibly for longer than 3-4 minutes while a collie squeaks a KW nearby.

After this discovery KW was rarely far from my reach and no phone call lasted longer than is necessary to exchange key pieces of information.

Since the partial puncturing and loss of the double squeak function, KW has been gradually deteriorating so that there are probably only one or two really decent power matches left in it where I have hold of the squeaking end and ST/FP has hold of the raggy end.

ST has already bought me a replacement because he can't stand to see me upset and I love him for that. He had to go a long way to find that replacement - top owner!

KW - I salute you for the great entertainment you have brought me (and ST & FP). Also, for being there after Tugger was lost at sea. I know I didn't chase you on the beach but that was for your own good.

Splashing!

I found a lovely big puddle on the terraces in the park and did some digging just to make sure I was properly covered in muddy water.

Rain, rain, rain - I love it still!

Last evening I was put in the bath and made into a 'fluffy noodle' again. I wonder why ST insists that FP does all the bathing? I heard him telling her that I had rolled in fox doot so I know he knew that the bath was inevitable. To be fair I do always manage to destroy the bathroom on exiting the tub and there is the whole post-bath rampage about the house finding things to splatter with water, which generally requires that my baths do not occur unless there are 2 or more people with towels stationed in key areas. Secretly I love plunging about at high speed avoiding the toweling until the last moment. To finish, I tear up my bed and if I can manage to pull the curtain off its rail whilst I do that, then all well and good.

I wasn't really bothered about being fluffy overnight. No-one saw me and I caught a weather forecast yesterday so was looking forward to a rain-soaked walkies through the park this morning. You can hardly tell I was so recently in the bath!

Cranky Noodle

I HATE fireworks! It's only meant to be one day, people!

Sigh.

So, how've you all been? I have spent much of the past week being comforted with soothing music. Other times I have taken refuge in the bathroom. The stress of being constantly on the alert for stray fireworks has meant that I've barked at every dog in the park - even ones I don't normally bark at at all.

Hate fireworks.

I think I should be Prime Minister, BTW. No government of which I was the boss would lose data!

Immense news!

ST is back! FP and I were playing with Kong Wubba yesterday (delicately after I nibbled away at the stitching) when suddenly there was a phone call.
I knew it was Immense News as immediately FP set about preparing me for a walk with my red harness and the short chain lead. This set up means she doesn't want me to try and get in every (EVERY) garden we pass, which I usually like to do as many people have cats and what honest-to-goodness-dog can resist scaring the be-jesus out of cat napping on its own territory, eh?
Anyhoo, there we were walking down the road and there was ST walking towards us! I was so happy I tried walking on 2 legs and yipped!
THEN, when we got home, ST pulled a new Kong Wubba out of his bag. I threw my paws about his knees and gave him a big hug - I truly have the best owners in the world!