340 words? I write a freakin' blog, damnit!

340 words is all it takes for this plain vanilla (i.e.: black & white border collie) to get a docco made about it! The world's gone mental.

I - me - I write a blog (you are reading it right now), on which I made some changes earlier today (do you like the new colour scheme & piccies?). 

I also manage ST's fitness and leisure programme, guard the street against foxes and cats, guard the whole WORLD against the massed organised ranks of the squirrel army and who's offering to make a docco about me? No-one. 340 words? All she really does if you look closely is retrieve her favourite toys! In the comfort of her own home, if you please!

The reason this is an outrage is that any dog can nail most home-based objects within days of properly moving in. It's how we scope out the best places to sleep (the ones which are not in the line of any draughts but which permit an unbroken sight-line to the front door and/or kitchen cupboard containing food and treats). We also know when we are likely to get treats because we recognise the real names and all the crazy nicknames owners give food. We know code-names for vets and visitors to the house we don't like and for whom we lay traps, in spite of our owner's attempts to fool us. Yes.

340 words - come on people! This is child's play!

A one-dog family

Since we went back to being a one-dog family I think ST & FP have grown to appreciate me even more than they did before. Yes. For example, today - a weekday - FP has decided to remain at home so that she can open the door for me whenever I spot a fox creature in the garden.
That's the good news. The bad news is that the step outside the door is growing increasingly precarious to negotiate at the kinds of speed I generate in pursuit of the fox creatures. I sent ST & FP out with a shovel & broom earlier but there's still slippage to consider en route to the fence.
Whoops! I think Cook might have been hit in the delicates...

AS = afraid of vacuum cleaners

LOL! AS was scampering about the house trying to avoid the vacuum earlier but she didn't know (like I do) that vacuum-ing is like a mania for ST & you can run all you like but eventually he's gonna get you!
Turns out that AS has a weakness: she's scared of anything that moves like a vacuum cleaner. So, brooms, floor mops, road sweepers most likely too, are all things you can use to control AS. After that you can use a tug on her lead but she's very quick to engage the sympathies of passers-by with a cunning show of being feak and weeble (sits down, shivers and raises one paw as if injured).
Thus far no other of my toys have lost the power of squeak.