Scientific Research - Interpreting the Emotions of Cats

I'm adding a linky for you to clicky.

*sighs and looks thoughtful* In some ways I realise that this research is useful and am happy to allow it to continue but, in other ways, it just makes me mad as hell.

*stands up and turns around to look out of the window* You see, cats are a provoking kind of animal. I was provoked the other evening whilst sitting at my gate. A human woman came along past my house being escorted BY HER CAT. Wrong in many ways. As I was ushered indoors before I could really get started with barking and growling at this up-start cat, I metaphorically shook my clenched paw at the world - IT IS NOT A CAT'S DUTY TO ESCORT PEOPLE! THAT'S WHAT DOGS DO.

*licks paw* I'm over it now but if you do decide to play Tagpuss and find yourself thinking "Awww, wook at the liccle puddycat..." just imagine being inconvenienced by having to wait until your cat is ready before you can leave for work in the morning. Then search for the tag which says 'scheming'.

PAIN

Pain is not good

Captain Birdseye beard anyone?

Shiver me timbers (mmmmm, shiver!) but the hot weather is making me moult like a, well, like a dog, in fact. Fur EVERYWHERE.

This evening alone, FP was able to fashion a Captain Birdseye beard from the fur she groomed out of me. Admittedly you'd be a younger, more rakish Captain Birdseye if you took this beard but imagine all the fun you can have on the high seas!

If you don't want a Captain Birdseye beard, you could probably have a short, severe bob haircut out of it...Anyone?

Roger's Thesaurus

Call me odd ball but I have always used a thesaurus when writing. Essays, reports, business plans - the thesaurus is handy, handy, handy.

When I asked ST about using a thesaurus he surprised me. Here's a transcript of our conversation:

Me: Have you ever used a thesaurus?

ST: No.

Me: Oh. Why? *tilts head to encourage ST to open up and share*

ST: Because it's a big book and it's Roger's, not mine.

Me: *stops suddenly* What?

ST: It's true. It was never 'ST's Thesaurus', always 'Roger's Thesaurus'.

Me: Roger?

ST: Well, haven't you noticed that the publisher spelt Roger wrong? I always thought we were lucky the spelling error occured where it did or else it would have been 'Toger's Thesarus'

Me: ROFL!!

Using the web

Today as we were walking in the park, I asked ST* if he had ever read about how best to phrase a search in a web search engine. Here's a transcript of our talk:

ST: No.

Me: Why?

ST: Never needed to.

Me: ? *lifts collie ears and tilts head*

ST: Well, like the other day, right, I put in a search for 'marrow tentacles' and most of the results that came up were to do with horror films, so I knew I had to change the search to something like 'growing marrows'. I didn't need to read any instructions on using the search engine to know that I hadn't used a good search term the first time.

Me: Oh. Do you know how web search engines work?

ST: Yes. There are all these spiders, all over the place they are, even in your house! 'Cos it's a web, see? And you put in your search terms and if one of the spiders is near the answer it holds up a card.

Me: What?

ST: It's true. There are spiders in your house, yeah, and that's how they can make your address appear on the web. They know where you live.

Me: ! *left collie ear at full extension*

ST: And then, yeah, the spiders - when they've got your answer and are holding up your card - they wait for a mega-pixie to come and paint it and that's how you see it on your computer.

Me: Is that a sqirrel over there?

ST: Where? No, I think it's a beer can

Me: Are you sure? I think it's a squirrel...

Anyway, that's kind of word for word how I found out that there's a lot more work to be done on ST.

*ST's knee has been poorly - a sickie knee. But it's getting better so I'm letting him come on walks again.

Someone's broken ST!

...when I find out who it was I'm gonna hide all (ALL) of their toys and see how they like it! I am so cross right now...