Foxes

I rarely set eyes on the foxes I know to be hiding in the bushes in the park but I can smell them a mile off. Given the number of thorns I pick up plunging about in the brambles searching for them, it would be nice to actually see one of these elusive beasts every now and then.

In other news, I have a very aching hip.

Advent-tageous

I don't have an advent calendar due to some neglect of FP's but if I did have one it would have my favorite snacks in each of the windows.

I'd like it to start with a pig's ear and I wouldn't mind to be fair if there was a pig's ear behind each and every window! However, for the sake of variety I will accept Bonios, Jumbones, gravy bones, Kit Kats, Kitty cats, squirrels, Toblerones, Markies, scraps of ham, anything FP's eating and anything ST thinks is good. This is not too much to ask.

Television

From my place on the sofa I have a good view of the television. The programmes ST & FP watch don't always make me laugh. And I don't like adverts much. Especially the ones where people 'play' glasses as musical instruments. It's a stupid thing to do.

There's also a ridiculous need apparently to discover the nation's favourite Abba song. I ask you!

I enjoy Poirot though. Yes, give me a 2 hour Poirot and I'm as happy as I can be, burdened as I am by early fireworks and what-not.

Ready Already Ongoing and Ongoing

For a few days now I have been using FP's dissertation folder as a pillow. Should I tell her I am ready to begin writing Chapter One, or just not get involved?

I notice that some of you have already started letting off fireworks. Why would you do this? And what (WHAT!) is the point in letting off one firework in the small hours of the morning? Surely the best thing about fireworks is enjoying a well-managed display with a large crowd? Don't even get me started on asking how much of a pillock one has to be to let off fireworks during daylight hours...

Puppies are still a problem for me in the park. Where do they get all their energy from?

I tried eating another jelly baby. Sticky. I put it in my bed.

Curious to see...

#cataloguingsongs
It ran out! Nevermind; worth knowing it runs out.

Jelly Babies

I cannot work these little fellas out. At all.

Silent mode

Someone's switched FP to 'silent mode' again. You know, when she's quiet like this she makes clicking noises like a dolphin to communicate with me. It's kind of sweet but not always easy to fully understand straight away. 

Luckily I've been listening to the Count of Monte Cristo and will see if I can work out some scheme like that of Valentine de Villefort and Monsieur Noirtier de Villefort! 

In other news, I met Agent Slim in the park this morning and we both barked at a massive puppy called Merlin.

Calculations

FP mumbled something about some maths lessons she was in once. I got the impression things hadn't gone well for her at the time and briefly supposed that this is one of the reasons she forgets to halve or quarter at least one ingredient whenever she modifies a recipe...

Anyhoo, it got me thinking about the times I use maths. Being a collie of course I am naturally given to the counting of sheep (and roughly pointing out to shepherds the general direction all x number of them were heading in when I last saw them). Now, did you see how I introduced the concept of 'x' just then?

'X' is going to help me explain some of the more frequent calculations I do in a normal day:

Scenario: a squirrel is over there *points*, beneath a tree looking for its nuts. There are x trees within x metres of the squirrel. There are x friendly squirrels already up x of the trees but twice as many unfriendly squirrels up half of these trees. You are a collie weighing x, capable of attaining x speed in x seconds (on a good day) and there is a slope of x degrees between you and the target squirrel which will slow you down by a third. 

Question: Will you catch it?

So you see, my daily walk in the park is not a walk in the park, as the saying goes (I've watched Top Gun). Rather, it is a huge maths problem and I think it's worth remembering that *starts licking paw*

Exhausting research

We were pretty sure that their were no actual cats in these books but we had to be sure so we read them cover to cover.

And then we had to sleep. Heavily.

Stupid prickly things

There's really nothing so great, IMO, as scampering about a field. Ah, the feeling of freedom, the wind in my ears and all the loveliness of being a slim dog on the hoof...Well, you know, slimmer than of late (see earlier post where vet probably messed up weighing machine results and declared me a heavy lass, the bas****).

Anyhoo, there I was sprinting about, fly style, in all directions I fancied for no more than 3 seconds at a time then BANG! we're in the car and heading back to Londres (where my Midlands/Borders accents sometimes stymies the locals)!

Traffic. Bah!

Crowded streets. Bah again.

Take me back to the wide open spaces or if not the wide open spaces then the steep hill where the deer hang out chewing whatever it is they chew unsuspecting of the presence of the NunuThunder!

I have to admit that recently I have been much taken with the RNIB audio book of the Count of Monte Cristo and it may be colouring my blog style, so stop me if I meander into close detailed descriptions of FP's dress or ST's stash of poo bags...

But I digress; where I meant to stay was on the topic of tearing about in fields only to arrive home, assume the position for a Brushing Brushing and discover one of those prickly things in my tail feathers.

We've had the devil of a time getting it out and it almost came to scissors*. But it is gone now and I'm not sorry either as it was damnably uncomfortable to sit on so that I was forced to lay down my weary head throughout the journey and snore loudly from just outside Birmingham until Kilburn, when I was required to navigate from the back seat whilst all the time sitting on a prickly thing. If you were in Kilburn, Marble Arch, Victoria or Clapham today and saw what you imagined to be a dog snarling at you from the back seat of a passing car, then rest assured it was I, Nunu, and it wasn't you, it was that prickly thing in my tail feathers causing the rictus expression.

*Always bad to hear scissors mentioned in relation to the tail feathers.

Another bathroom

Here's a thing: it is raining so hard here that drops are smashing their way down the chimney and playing a sort of modern racket composition that sounds like gongs.

This noise is having a bad affect on my nerves so if you want me, I'll be in the bathroom.

Adios.

Recent thinking

I woke from a twitchy paw dream just now and figured I should share some of my thoughts:

1. Deer - I don't get these animals. Why would you have a fluffy white target on your backside? It might as well be a multi-coloured target painted there...
2. Hills - oh my aching joints! I wish there was a button I could press when I wanted flatter ground without having to go up hill to find it
3. Jumbones - I'm glad that FP's given up trying to feed me those joint care 'treats' and reinstated Jumbones. Mind you, perhaps the hills would be easier if I did eat those nasty things. Might do some more thinking on this issue...
4. Puddles - a certain puddle, of which I have grown very fond, has refilled with rain water! This is a Good Thing. Yes.

I am expecting thunder

Owing to atmospheric conditions I am spending a lot of time panting & preparing to hide either in the bath or the downstairs loo (not in the loo itself, you understand, just the room). It is difficult to enjoy gravy bones when this anxious.

Hill climbing

I need emergency scones and quick! I climbed a hill/cliff this morning. Who will bring me scones? *woe*

Sore shoulder

Not that any of you sent me cards to mark the occasion but I recently turned 7 years old.

I have developed Wisdom commensurate with my Age. I'm keeping it to myself for the time being as you are all much more interesting without the benefit of what I could tell you.

I have also developed Sore Shoulders. This is impacting on how often I can post to this blog - getting on the chair to reach the keyboard is not an insubstantial task (I have legs and tail feathers to arrange in lady-like fashion, after all). Aching limbs also means less Tugger chasing which is impacting on how many rolls I can perform on the terraces. I should explain; for a long while now I have been able to fool both ST & FP into thinking I am victory rolling on Tugger after each good catch, whereas in fact I am rolling for the sake of rolling. Dogs love rolling on grass and sometimes there is fox poo, sometimes there isn't but a roll is a roll and they're nearly impossible to resist.

So that's all from me for the time being. It is almost supper time and I haven't licked my front paws in preparation yet, or dug up my bed.

Where are they?

Don't get me wrong; I've enjoyed staying with Nunuthunder, ST & FP but my real owners should be back soon.

I'm gonna keep watch for them...

Comparison

My temporary owner, FP, has compared me to a deflated rugby ball and decided I would not be worth throwing for NunuThunder to chase. Phew! Apparently, if my legs had been shorter it would have been a different outcome.

Also, apparently if I had not raided the kitchen dustbin the comparison would not have taken place.

I don't understand why bins are so precious to humans. I do understand that humans put stuff in the bin that they have finished with. If a dog like me can find a use for your discarded wrappers and containers, why not leave me to it? *tilts head, all cute*

Peep-bo!

Car hammock funs. I quite like this hammock in the car as it means I can fall heavily asleep and if the car stops or goes downhill I won't fall off the seat. I look like I'm not enjoying this ride but in fact I had spotted a gravy bone on the floor - crazy love gravy bones, me!

Stealth

I like to go in the garden and bark sometimes. It's one of the joys of being a dog.

Recently though I have been perfecting the art of barking whilst almost entirely invisible. Yeah, I know, amazing! Look, I've put a photo of the garden I was barking in but I bet you won't be able to spot where I am:

Agent Slim

My name is Agent Slim, you can call me AS for short.

I chase flies, lie in the sun and drink water. I also bark if you walk past my house (even on the other side of the road). I bark if you disturb me whilst I'm out the back too, so don't imagine for a second that you can try sneaking by.

This is a photo of me and my most recent boyfriend:

Me, Agent Slim (AS)

This is Boyfriend (BF). He's lovely.

Tick...but not the good kind

A tick got on my neck. Bad.

Luckily, FP has some tools and she managed to get rid of this tick. She had to hook the tick in the tool and twist v-e-r-y gently until it popped out, jaws and all. FP looked at the beast carefully and there were bits waving about in the hook and sticking out the other side was a big, fat creamy white coloured body.

I think this will serve as a lesson to me to be more careful when I'm plunging about in the undergrowth looking for foxes and what not. Or, taking those celebratory rolls on the grass after I've caught Tugger in the park. Ah, well frankly I haven't a clue where I picked up this rotten old tick thing. 

The thing is to make sure when grooming your dogs that you check for ticks. They can be black or creamy colured and you HAVE to make sure that you get out ALL of the jaw parts as well as the body. Don't rush the process; take your time and if you aren't sure, go to the vet. After you've removed a tick, keep an eye on your dog for 24 hours at least to make sure that we aren't behaving oddly (more oddly than usual that is).

Well, that's all from me right now. I'm watching Twitter for news on something else...This does not mean that I'm ignoring you. It just means that I'm busy (again).

Okay, bye *waves*

Tremendously busy 2

I have been busy before but I'm extra busy right now.

I have extra people to supervise and, let me tell you, people are not always ready to do as they are told. People are willful and contrary, they walk in bizarre directions and sometimes they are not carrying gravy bones so it's difficult to maintain an interest in them. Frankly if you don't have a gravy bone in your pocket, I will leave you to wonder about the park on your own.

I am a busy dog and require gravy bones on  a regular basis.

Got me some new treasures

Yesterday I spent some time mooching about the collection of some friends. That's time well spent!

I also discovered a hole in a fence but let's keep that to ourselves, huh? *winks*

In other news, things are quiet. *looks over shoulder*

Courgette

The cucmber's gone but now there's courgette on the kitchen floor.

Again, I cannot eat this stuff - HALP!

Maybe one of you could persuade FP that she cannot slice veg like a proper chef? It's like a nightmare watching her...

Cucumber

There's a piece of cucumber on the kitchen floor. One of you has to come and move it because I can't eat that and it's on the floor. Someone might slip on it. And I can't eat cucumber.

Help! Arghhhhh *runs away*

Route planner

I've blogged before (ages ago) about how dogs should be careful about the routes their owners take on important journeys. Recently FP took some snaps which show EXACTLY how observant a dog should be:

Agent Slim demonstrates how small dogs can keep track of the route

NunuThunder strikes a regal pose whilst checking the route

Judgement

Have you ever gone somewhere to do something and you couldn't because someone was so crap at their job that even simple things were impossible? Well THAT!

In other news, I took a yoghurt carton out of the bin. I don't like yoghurt & I only did it because, um, I forget actually now you come to mention it. Anyway, I did it and then I went and sat in the bath. 

It has been a strange day.

Tremendously busy

It's been a while since I last posted and this is because I am a Busy Collie. Yes.
Recently I was required for 4 days to supervise AS. In order to do this effectively I moved into her house and garden where there is a problem with Stupid Foxes.
I have also been carrying out various chores about my own house and garden whilst FP has been watching cricket working on her dissertation. Amongst these chores is making desserts featuring plums. I like plums.

Contrast

Yesterday afternoon at this time I was 'in' a webinar. This afternoon I am snoozing on the sofa.

For the record I am at my end of the sofa, not ST's. I've chosen this end because I spent some time and no little effort digging and nuzzling my cushion cover and it is JUST RIGHT. I'm so comfortable. Yes.

I'm 'at' a webinar

Oh, it's starting! Apparently people from all around the world are 'with' me. 

In other news, this morning I had an interesting walk with AS. She's getting more used to walking with me and FP so we're able to walk more quickly, stopping to sniff, very carefully, any blades of grass and leaves, sticks and disturbed areas of grass that we pass by. AS has a much bigger scent database than I do, so I'm learning a great deal from her. In return I am trying to pass on my love and the very real joy to digging in muddy puddles. AS isn't really getting this muddy puddle love thing I have going on at the moment but we have time to work on this. Yes.

I have to pay proper attention now, they're talking about notation...

Fairness

This afternoon became bath time for Nunu. Now, admittedly I have been going nuts in muddy puddles recently, digging them up (to make them last longer = Nunu Logic Thinking!) and shaking out the mucky drips onto AS! Yay, it's been great fun!

This morning though I pushed my luck and went a little bit into the smelly pond. Only a little bit but enough apparently to push FP into the bath option.

I am fluffy now and smell clean, not foxy or of brackish water.

In other news, will ST ever ring FP?

I am all about helping

Yes, it's true. I am a very helpful Nunu.

Why, just this morning I visited an injured, much loved friend and will be visiting again, perhaps bringing biscuits and spiriting away for a good walking, her dog who you may remember from previous posts on this blog, Agent Slim (AS).

If you need help, I can probably help but please remember that I need to be asleep on the sofa at various times during the day.

Asleep on the sofa

Earlier I tried sleeping over by the window but it's not as good as sleeping here on the sofa.

FP and I had a chat about the fact that I did go in the puddles in the park today so I'm not the cleanest dog in the room (although I am the only dog in the room) and my concession to this chat was to move to the end of the sofa with my blanket on it. I was at the other end originally because ST is not there right now. There are no strategic advantages to ST's end of the sofa, I just like to sleep there when he isn't.

Always back up your files

1. At least TRY to keep track of your usernames and passwords
2. Don't put off backing up your computer files
3. Before you download a programme, ask yourself if you really want it
4. Delete programmes you are not using
5. Empty the trash every now and then!

That is all.

I sees things & I laughs

Stuff's funny all over the world and it makes me ROFL. True fact about Nunu.

When no-one's around...

FP and I have been having a chat about where the butter's gone.

I made out I was listening but really only heard "...turn my back for 5 minutes...", "...picking up after you..." and such.

Butter's great though, isn't it? I think it's great and I'm going to ask other dogs if they agree so that FP can get over this obsession she has with me not gaining access to buttery goodness every now and then.

Right, must time for me to sit at the top of the stairs growling *waves*

Let sleeping cats lie

FP & I have been having 'a chat' about what I should do when I find a cat sleeping on the pavement.

I'm a reasonable dog, some would say more than reasonable on some issues, but I find my placid, easy-going nature severely tested by cats sleeping on pavements. Yes.

Take this morning. I left for my walk and there on the pavement was a sleeping cat.

As we continue our walk to the park, there was another sleeping cat sleeping in the way, on the pavement asleep.

In a quiet street very close to the park gates there was a sleeping cat IN THE ROAD! Yes; IN THE ROAD!

I'm sure you'll agree that all my reasonable-ness has been used up for today, n'est-ce pas?

NunuThunder: very excellent and reasonable dog.

Stiff legs

Walked to the park this morning & I'm paying the price now; my legs are awfully stiff. If I was human-shaped, I'd be putting my hand on my hips & stretching left & right slowly, with a grimace on my face.

On the plus side I think FP has a blister on each foot and if that doesn't teach her a lesson, I don't know what will!

Disappointingly there were no good sniffs to be had from any of the gardens en route to the park, which  surprised me because there were lots of bins out & I would have thought the foxes might have been in action. FP giggled about the fact that I missed the fluffiest cat which was sitting on a wall. To be fair, we were walking up a steeeep hill at the time & I was working hard to pull FP along with me - cannot stand it when she lags behind on hills!

In other news, we did not bump into Molly so we still have her ball.
P.S.: My paws need so much licking that I hardly know how I find time to do anything else in a day!

Gum in the grass

This morning in celebration of a great catch* I put Tugger on the grass and then rolled on it. I stood up when FP started screaming loudly.

Apparently rolling on boggy, wet grass is upsetting for owners to see and, indeed, when I stood up I was a complete mess. I shook but that made FP scream again as she was standing close by...

Apparently wet, muddy dogs shaking near people is upsetting...Who knew?

Later it was discovered that I had inadvertently also rolled on some chewing gum, which had stuck in my fur. Can you guess what happened later? Yes, that's right, I was put in the bath.

Apparently chewing gum does not wash out of fur, just as it does not wash out of human hair, so FP had to snip a little of my mane. This is not good. 

I am the fluffiest dog in the house this evening. I smell nice and I don't have gum in my fur anymore. If you saw me, you would want to cuddle me.

*Tugger flies great through the air and I can usually catch it on one bounce off firm ground since, rather than watching its flight, I like to belt off in the general direction I think it's going in. With the ground being so heavy, good bounces are few and far between (I'm more likely to end up with muddy water in my eyes from a splash down). If I pull of a great catch without letting Tugger bounce, I think a celebratory roll is not too much.

Anger Management

Last October I used this blog to vent about cat owners.

At the time I was a Poorly-Nunu and didn't think about whether what I wrote might make cat owners and even cats feel down. Afterwards when I was a Better-Again Nunu I thought about it and I've been thinking about it again today.

This is a wide open space where I put my thoughts and people can read them and tell me what they think in return. That's how blogs, Twitter, Facebook etc work - wide open spaces. What happens on the blog doesn't stay on the blog, it gets out in the world and cat owners who read my October post might still remember that I didn't sound like the cute Nunu I really am (honest).

So here's what I will do: I will probably get cross again at some point (you know, about people leaving open the garden gate or people letting off fireworks). But I'm not going to come here to this blog and vent when that happens. I'm gonna go chew my blue ball or dig up my bed. Have a snooze. Drink some water. After I've calmed down, if I want to talk to you about my feelings, I'll come here and do it thoughtfully remembering that this is where you get to form opinions about me.

Of course, there'll still be silly posts about how many puddles I jumped in on my walk (this morning it was ALL OF THEM!)... I was in such a state I had to be towelled off before I got in the car *ROFL*

Fit for 2011

I did some running with a friend

 He's faster than me and looks crazy when he's running

 Then he looked sad 'cos he hurt his foot

 So I went and sat in my tree

Then I went home.