Stopping the squirrels

In order to prevent squirrels enjoying time in and/or stealing your underwear from your washing line you should always (ALWAYS) hang knickers and pants by the crotch.
Imagine your underwear is an isosceles triangle: you want the pointy end to be the bit you hang over the line and peg.
Underwear hung with the crotch downwards is just waiting for a squirrel to come along and make themselves at home in. It is barely any effort for them to manipulate the peg arrangement so that they can climb into your pants and have a snooze, saved from falling by the seat of your pants!
This is not madness. It is a simple way to stop squirrels using your pants as a hammock and if they cannot test out your undies for comfort, they cannot be tempted to steal them from the line and move them into their nests (which, by the way, are in your attic).

Heh heh heh

I'm laughing because ST & FP bought the wrong sized dentastix. They got the really massive ones so I am currently enjoying more (MORE) dentastix than usual. Score!

Dear Princess Leia

FP came home this evening & told me that you have been seriously unwell. She also said that you have been on anti-biotics. Did you know this, Princess? If you didn't it means your family have been hiding tablets in your food. Always check your food! If I suspect I am being given a tablet I like to route about in my bowl until I find it, then I spit it out on the floor after sucking it clean of all food traces. If I do this enough times FP will crack open a tin of tuna to hide the tablet in. I love the tuna and promptly eat everything in sight, then I lick the floor, just in case of spillage.
I hope you are feeling better Princess. FP has also told me that a guinea pig called Pookie might be contacting me soon. I hope so. I'm not entirely sure what a guinea pig is but this one's name in full is Pookie the Wonderpig, so it must be pretty impressive. Fit to meet royalty even and help to make you feel better.
Get that Dad of yours to walk you in a different park so you can sample some new smells. Change is as good as a rest.

Early yawn

Yawn. Up early this morning. Yawn. Went outside. Yawn. Then went straight back to bed. Yawwwn. FP was also up (she opened the door for me) but she didn't go straight back to bed and muttered something about me being a traitor for doing so but I was asleep before I could care too much. Zzzzzzzz.

A Deal

ST has opened negotiations with me over the whole ratting me out to FP thing. He says he won't tell FP the things I do if I don't do them.
Now, call me picky, but this somehow amounts to me becoming a saint which is tough.
I've told him I'll think about it.

200 & I'm getting serious about pond life

So, the other day I went in the pond in the park. It's a smelly pond and other dogs have emerged from its depths with eye infections and poorly stomachs. I emerged stinking like a swamp-thing.
In the past when this has happened (usually by complete accident) I have been put in the bath immediately on returning to base camp (or home for the non-military amongst you), and my post-walk jumbone has been delayed.
However, on this day ST did not subject me to the walk of shame straight into the bath. He dutifully delivered my jumbone from the cupboard and got on with his day. Even though I ate my jumbone I knew that I was in Trouble.
Sure enough when FP arrived home she conducted a sniff test after ST ratted me out. Honestly she hadn't even made it through the front door before he started spilling the beans!
Without so much as a by your leave, FP had me in the bath and hosed down WITH COLD WATER! Brrrr...
Now I don't seem to mind cold water when its pond water but putting me in the bath with my delicately scented/deeply uncool shampoo and using cold water just underlines how much I should not be jumping in the pond! No matter how hot the day, or how many other dogs are leading the way. No.
I am a collie and should set a better example. Yes.

JingerbreadGirl!

See? Clever collie!

What can your human do?

On the radio (5live, no less) they are asking "what can your pet do?" because there are mutant cats aping dogs apparently (just get a dog people!).
So I'd like to turn the tables and ask: "what can your human do?"
Toughie, eh?
My own humans, ST & FP, are super talented. Both can throw Tugger a reasonable distance & neither seem bothered about having to fetch it themselves either. I like those traits - fitness & pliability. Yes.

Happy little Noodle

Lallalllallalllalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal! Everybody join in: lalalalalallalllalallllaaaaaaalallalalalalalllal...
I love singing and more dogs should sing. Yes.