Right here right now

I'm being talked about! I can hear them. I was sitting on my windowsill and then I could feel my earls burning!
Oh I can't get rid of italics - how did that happen? Loggin' out!
BTW, hi JB! Ohhh look I'm cured. This is odd. Off back to windowsill as life is simpler there.

A game of tactics

I think Leggy Leggerson has been cheating at chess. I don't know that much about chess (yet) and, TBH, it was a surprise when one of my toys suggested that we play a board game rather than just remaining mute whilst I try and pull its arms and legs off; I wonder if Leggy's feeling vulnerable?
Anyway, I agreed to play chess despite not really knowing what chess was and hoping it was a snack. Turns out there are some bite-size pieces involved but none of them are edible (I checked because 'pawn' could have been 'prawn' and I love the seafood!). Leggy swiftly set up the board whilst I had a quick read of the Instructions. I went first, advancing a Not-Prawn forward a bit. Next thing I know Leggy's claiming victory and demanding that he be left alone in a comfy chair for the afternoon! I sloped off with the instruction book.
Next day, same thing happened. I tracked Leggy Leggerson down to a little used area of the living room where he appeared to be concealed under a table mat (why?). He spluttered with shock at being uncovered and again suggested that we play chess. But moments later he was claiming victory and wanting to be left in peace in an unspecified location.
I returned to the rules and scoured them for hints as to how I could be losing so rapidly. Is Leggy a Grand Master in disguise? What event could have driven a Grand Master to disguise himself as a 6-legged toy? I don't know but I'm thinking that Leggy is beating me because he's got more legs than I have and if we could play my preferred game of 'Pull The Legs Off The Toy', I feel sure we'd be more equal at the chess board.

Train to..

FP & I walked ST to the train station earlier. Just as the doors began to close I whined and moaned a bit, hoping that ST would change his mind & stay with us in the garden this afternoon. Sadly the train pulled away with ST still on board & FP's just got through explaining to me that the only way I will always have food in my cupboard is if I don't make a fuss about something called Work which is how they make Money.
All seems a bit odd to me. I Work crazy hours guarding the perimeter, locating lost watches and such but no-one's ever given me Money. Unless that's the technical name for Snacks? Is it?

Lost & Found

Being a collie I am intensely interested in keeping things neat and tidy (except for my bed which I like to mess up after a grooming session). I feel better about the world when I know where things are, see and this explains why I never actually retrieve Tugger when ST throws it in the park but I do always check out where it has landed and make a careful note, sometimes mark the spot with pee. This is what dogs do.
Here are some things on the lost & found list this week which are causing me some distress:

• FP's watch is still 'missing', even though I know where it is. This means that FP has no clue what time it is and is beginning to impact on my Snack Schedule (the importance of which is clear to you all, I'm sure)
• A chicken carcass which I distinctly remember being dropped by a pesky fox under the buddleia at the top of the garden is also missing. I have suspicion that this was removed from the garden by ST & FP and am watching them for clues as to its present whereabouts
• My Argentina rugby ball. Haven't seen it in ages
• My metal fine-toothed comb is FOUND! This is good because the way that feels working out the knots in my coat is awesome and is largely the reason I have to tear up my bed post-grooming.

I'm going back to watching the garden now from my window sill. ST is shifting about downstairs and may lead me to the chicken carcass at any moment...

Daisy Doodle!

I was so excited waiting for FP to come home this evening as a package arrived for me (ME!) this morning and I badly needed someone with opposable thumbs to help me open it.
I did my usual thing with Postie (attacking the letter box, barking like a maniac) and then imagine my surprise when it turned out that the biggest piece of mail was for me (ME!)! I've never had post before (my Kennel Club stuff doesn't count because it's Official).
I paced about all day checking the time on FP's watch which she lost the weekend before last and I haven't let on that I know where it is yet (tee-hee). Tick, tick, tick. Time went by so slowly and there was my package waiting to be opened...
I have to say that I was tempted a couple of times to exercise my keen collie brain and just open it myself but I was discovered by Motwoozle. I think I may have fooled him into thinking it was pure coincidence that I happened to have my package in my bed but who knows if he really believed me.
Eventually it was time to watch from the front windows to see if FP was coming along the road and SHE WAS! I ran barking to the door and jumped around. Once she was in I led her straight to the package and communicated using my collie ears and some more barking that it was very IMPORTANT that the package was opened quickly! I'd been waiting all day!!
I was amazed by the number of legs on what was in the package but when I heard the first squeaks I just knew I had yet another awesome toy! I am the luckiest collie in the WHOLE WORLD!
Thanks Daisy for thinking of me and I look forward to being able to play with you and my new best toy very soon - I'm going to call it Leggy Leggerson. Tugging games are best for me, what's your favourite?

A round-up

Ahhh, round-ups! Just the thing for a collie.
Here's a photograph of me wearing my 'walker':

This is the one lent to ST by a kindly dog-walker in the park after the blue bandage the vet had put on me 'fell off'. Even though I am looking very hang-dog in this photo, the walker is in fact very comfy and I don't mind it at all. I was pulling a long face because I thought I could get a bonio out of FP.

So, Leicester Tigers won the final and are champions of England! I don't mind this for the following reasons:

• Tigers are not like the cats that live nearby (Oscar, I mean you)
• Even though London Irish have a dog as their mascot, they have a Catt at fly-half

I hope the Tigers win the Heineken Cup too!

Today my walk was very disrupted by, like, 4000 minis. It's the annual weekend of appalling weather which marks the London to Brighton drive-by of practically every mini in England & I'd just like to point out that if you bring a deck chair & barbecue with you to celebrate there being SOOOOOO many minis in the world, don't leave them behind once you set off for bloody Brighton! My lovely park looks like a municipal tip with rubbish all over the place. Being responsible park users means we clean up after ourselves and it would be nice if others - especially those who use the park very VERY occasionally - could spare a thought for the damage they cause by being careless of the mess they leave behind. You know who you are!

I'm working quite hard during the evenings keeping foxes off ST's potato plants which are growing nicely. Also keeping an eye on the garlics. Mmmmmmm garlic.

Right, now I noticed earlier that ST was changing pillow cases so I'm off to lie on the new ones to make sure that no-one forgets that I own this place...

TG for the weekend

My paw is much better, thank you very much but I am still making the most of the sympathy vote and am blogging from a comfortable bed on a Saturday morning.
ST has taken the precaution of ordering some walkers (neat little shoe things with velcro fastenings) for me in case I hurt my leg again and I quite like them - better than that blue bandage thing the vet put on me. It 'fell' off (honest) pretty quickly but not before I had been spotted by other dogs in the park. Embarrassing.
I have to listen to some harp music today, choose some tracks for later in the summer when I am to be entertained by a harpist, if you please! That's much posher than anything Princess Leia gets up to!
Actually I have an important job to do today: FP must (repeat MUST) do some writing and by this evening I am hoping to be proof reading a report about marketing. It's not technically something I know that much about but I do enjoy the Alexander Orlov adverts on TV so I know what to look for in a good campaign. BTW, did you know that Alexander has a Facebook page? He's really looking forward to the Eurovision Song Contest this evening.

I'm hit!

Look you might have to go on without me for a bit; I've injured my paw and am having to take things easy. FP's been at me with the Salty Solution so that I don't lick my injured stop pad too much but I couldn't resist so she bandaged me up. I swiftly got rid of the tape she used to secure the first bandage so she tied the next one with a knot which I also worked out quickly but I was discovered by ST and the bandage was re-tied. It's a more complex knot than before but I have all night.
I haven't blogged in ages! Difficult to type with this bandage on though so just a short one. Trip to vets planned for the morning - woe!