Ohhh - aloe vera!

I've been in the bath. I smell "lovely", apparently, even though I smelt better after rolling in fox doot this morning in the Very Muddy Park. Since running down the stairs in a post-bath frenzy I have been pretending to be asleep on the sofa, safely out of the way of all the HOOVERING that has been going on. Honestly, what is it with hoovering? Every day...
A few times now we've been up to this shop on the high street and although I have always left with some goody or other I now know that this is where Shampoo comes from, so I will resist visiting this shop in the future. Yes. It isn't a big shop like the one I peed in at Christmas so boycotting it might actually have a big effect on how much money it makes in these times of recession. It might close down and there will never be shampoo again. HAHAHHHHAHAHH!

I'm a bad dog

I am a bad, bad dog. Today I just couldn't help myself and I went and ate those chocolate fingers - even though I didn't enjoy them! Urgh.
Then, because I knew I'd been bad and, you know, you might as well when trouble's coming, I went and chewed up FP's sandwich box. Sigh. How quickly can a sandwich grow stale?
Needless to say I have faced the music and regret making 2 really bad decisions. I'm convinced that being sent to my bed will not be the end of it either. I've heard them talking about putting me in the bath. Ohhh (holds head in paws), why did I do it?
On the up side I have some new entertainments to offer. You will notice a new Linkythingy (that's an official technical term) just off to one side (I'm pointing, look). Click on that and wave at Liz B. Just don't write bitter comments to me about her not waving back, though, eh? She can't see you.
I'm off to see if I can get the shampoo out of the cupboard. I'll bury it in the garden if I have to but the ground's still very hard and I might break a nail doing it. If only I hadn't eaten those chocolate fingers!

It got longer because I'm the Boss of you!!!

This part of my message goes out to Motwoozle...
I try so HARD to make you love me and yet you resist. Well, you'll find now that whenever you try to send ANYTHING from here it'll start going backwards once it hits 95%! Yes, every time! 4 minutes and counting - upwards!
HHAHAHAHHHAHHAHHHAHHHHAHAAAAHHAHAHAHHAH!
That's better. The rest of you can join in again now, I just had to get that off my chest.
So, the main question of the day yet again centred on chocolate. I have still not done anything about those chocolate fingers in the study, other than verifying that they are, in fact, dark chocolate and therefore foul pestilence and not to be eaten (by me). FP reports that Mrs. Jones is a Milkie, so I think I should get to know her. The choice of Bounty is regrettable but I am sure that a little persuasion and the odd hint about how much I like just plain milk chocolate, she'll be munching away on a bog standard bar of Dairy Milk soon enough. Did you get that, FP? Dairy MILK! Not Bourneville.

Repetitive

Turkey & rabbit in the morning, fishy-fish in the evening. Turkey & rabbit in the morning, fishy-fish in the evening. Turkey, fish, turkey, fish...None of this is getting me any closer to discovering how long it takes to cook duck leg, is it!? Honestly.
Sometimes I think (as I watch the garden from my window ledge) that the only consolations I have in life are my extensive collection of fabulous toys, a really very muddy park to walk in in the morning and as many snacks as I can snaffle in a day. The rest is all a maddening mix of unanswered questions, and not only about cooking duck legs.
For example I am also very curious to know if other dogs have as much fun doing recreational ear scratching as I do? And do other dog's tails take as long to brush? Hmmm...
FP's left an open packet of chocolate fingers in the study. They are within reach but I suspect that they are dark chocolate, which isn't my favourite. Prefer milk chocolate (if you're interested). I'll leave them be for a while. FP hasn't stopped mentioning the Doritos packet I was heavily into last week and I don't want to appear so random in my preferences that nothing will ever be left unguarded!

Optimum timing for cooking a duck leg

More research is required but - believe me - it's more than 3 mins!

Crows

As regular readers will know, I had some trouble with crows whilst stalking squirrels last summer. Today I got my own back by chasing a whole load of crows and really enjoyed it. I might do it again tomorrow.

Hmmmm, feeling very content as I have just had my Dentastix. Along with Bonios and Jumbones, Dentastix are my favourite snack (oh, and gravy bones).

Supper-mental

I'm exhausted. I've been playing with my toys all evening and also became entangled in a curtain. I kept calm and eventually freed myself whilst FP & ST found it funny. Hmmm, I'll get my own back on them by getting extra muddy tomorrow in the park and then 'falling asleep' on the non-covered end of the sofa...

I want fish for supper, please

Hello, ST, can you hear me? I want fish for supper because I had rabbit & turkey for breakfast. Also, I'd like a bonio. And some gravy bones perhaps...

Awful Sale

We all just sat and watched Sale play badly -Hodgson played worst of all. Please let's not see him back in an England shirt ever!

Goode Heavens - let's not go through this again

I just want to say that Andy Goode is not the fly half answer England need for the 6 Nations. I've been reading FP's thoughts for several days and despite being incredibly busy and all that she seems to be obsessed with the fly half position for the England rugby team. Mr Goode, although excellent for club, is not able to do the international thing. Neither is Charlie Hodgson.
So, can we just forget about them and look at the talent we have, please? Harking back to past failures will not win us anything especially when the squad is as flaky as it is right now. Development is all well and good(e) as long as it is development going forward and not looking backwards. Here end-ith...
Apart from that, everything's pretty cool. Sniff, sniff...Is that food? It is! I've gotta go!

ST! You have to stop!

Oh! You wouldn't believe what's going on here! There's a major racket coming from ST's speakers - I think he's listening to cats!

Awful.

It doesn't mean I can't get on with my nightly routine of watching the garden and making sure the squirrels aren't about to beat down the doors. But I am a bit distracted and my eye keeps twitching at the really loud bits.

The park's all muddy again - yeah!! I love it. Proper mud. Mud you can cover the stair carpet with.

Yes, you can blog Mr Lang!

Go on! If I can, you can...

Special agents

After several recent and out-of-season sightings of squirrels in the area the Leggy Dalmatian has recruited a couple of special agents to help find out some more information on what those bushy-tailed critters are up to. Because I know it is impossible for squirrels to use computers I feel it would not be a breach of security to show you pictures of these agents (plus they are masters of disguise)

I am not a cat


I am not a cat either

I will be acting as a messenger between these two feline friends of the anti-squirrel movement and the Leggy Dalmatian. More peeing against fence posts. I better go and have a drink (of water).

Resolutions

I've been thinking about resolutions and have made the following decisions:

1. I am too hard on myself and need to ease up - not everyone (by that I mean all dogs) must be barked at
2. My tail does need brushing and I should allow FP to do this without trying to eat the brush (or comb)

That's all. I've heard about people who start the New Year with too many resolutions or life-changing plans and by the end of the 1st week it's all too much and they go back to their old ways.
TG, ST bought me some more food yesterday as I was becoming sick of the salmon and prawn flavour. Oh, I just thought of something else I could include in my resolutions:

• I will no longer drop Tuggers in the sea

That's a good one!