Once I was abandoned (FP found me in a re-homing centre - I'm over it) but to this day I cannot climb willingly into a car without committing the route driven to memory. Some Journeys, though, are longer than others and a dog gets tired with paying close attention to every sign that flashes past, so I've developed a Technique.
This is how it goes:
- make a great deal of fuss initially. This should take the form of running back and forth in the back of the car which looks like excitement but is in fact making absolutely certain that all (ALL) local street names are noted
- lick the driver's right ear. This seems like affection but in fact means the mileage of the vehicle can be noted at the start of the Journey
- once the journey is well under way, be certain to be watching out for key landmarks from the window. Never (NEVER) be lying down at this stage of the Journey. You can also look out for people or dogs you know
- once you know you are not in Kansas anymore, relax a bit
- whenever the car slows, sit up and take note of whether you take a left, right or go straight on at junctions, roundabouts or motorway forks. Some of you may have a sat nav with a demented human voice instructing your driver. Although these are sometimes wrong (especially near Edinburgh) they are nonetheless vital for clues on VERY long Journeys
- always (ALWAYS) pee on the first thing you see when you leave the car so that you can find your way back to where it was parked the last time you saw it
There are no guarantees with owners and I have been lucky with ST & FP so far (in fact sometimes I cannot get a single moment to myself). This simple technique should help make sure that no owner can forget you when they drive somewhere without you being able to find your way back.
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