Freaked out

I am freaked out. I can't explain why. I can hear noises.

Scriptwriting

I cannot blog for long this evening because I'm having to write a script for a TV series.

I'm going to be the star of the show. It will be mainly about me (bien sur) and there'll be bits and pieces about some other dogs I know and their owners. I know some real characters so it'll be hilarious.

Oh, before I go back to the script though, I have to tell you that the jumbone I buried last month is growing! Very exciting. There are 5 shoots and I've noticed that ST thinks they're potatoes - boy is he in for a shock!? I should include this in my script...

Increasing my powerbase

I am becoming increasingly powerful and have another minion. Last night I was the focus of attention of 3 (three) people ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

In the past I wouldn't have believed that I had enough tummy available to be rubbed and tickled by 3 people at the same time! Turns out I do...

Heavy Roller

I helped in the garden earlier by lying on the newly laid turf.
Although why ST's bothering when he knows that is my superhighway to the foxes is beyond me. Still it has kept him occupied and away from the hoover, which is a beast with a retractable tail - not natural!
There are very few squirrels around this year. There are a number of reasons this could be:

1. I was much better at breaking up the organisation of the Squirrel Army than even the Leggy Dalmatian thought I'd be
2. The excessive tree felling in the park decimated the squirrel population
3. We're all in a lot more trouble than we can realise with the Squirrel Army massing somewhere ready for a big push.

Think on...

Lou Reed

Yesterday I listened to Lou Reed. He cannot sing.

NunuT's favourite shop

Call me old fashioned, but I love going shopping when FP & ST are buying stuff for me. All the shops that sell stuff for them are boring and tend to want me to wait outside, which means my valuable input as to what should be bought is wasted. Sometimes entire BAGS full of stuff are carried into my house containing not so much as a dry biscuit.

Anyway, there's this one shop where I am allowed in because I think it is stocked almost to the rafters of things I love! It's just down the road and when I was there on Saturday last, I managed to get a bone into my mouth that wasn't really going to be included in the purchase! I'm so crafty at times I think I could be a fox. But I'm not (a fox) because I have never stood in someone's garden across the street and made a load of noise at 04.30 - 04.47, most mornings these last few weeks.

340 words? I write a freakin' blog, damnit!

340 words is all it takes for this plain vanilla (i.e.: black & white border collie) to get a docco made about it! The world's gone mental.

I - me - I write a blog (you are reading it right now), on which I made some changes earlier today (do you like the new colour scheme & piccies?). 

I also manage ST's fitness and leisure programme, guard the street against foxes and cats, guard the whole WORLD against the massed organised ranks of the squirrel army and who's offering to make a docco about me? No-one. 340 words? All she really does if you look closely is retrieve her favourite toys! In the comfort of her own home, if you please!

The reason this is an outrage is that any dog can nail most home-based objects within days of properly moving in. It's how we scope out the best places to sleep (the ones which are not in the line of any draughts but which permit an unbroken sight-line to the front door and/or kitchen cupboard containing food and treats). We also know when we are likely to get treats because we recognise the real names and all the crazy nicknames owners give food. We know code-names for vets and visitors to the house we don't like and for whom we lay traps, in spite of our owner's attempts to fool us. Yes.

340 words - come on people! This is child's play!