Long legs

One thing I love is rolling onto my back and stretching my legs so that I can take up more room. It's a great technique for winning the entire sofa or bed for yourself and I recommend it to you all.

Arrests

12 frogs have been arrested and several others detained for questioning regarding the hoax ransom note. For about half an hour the street was clogged with police vehicles while they tried to secure their hopping mad prisoners in handcuffs.
All this is an unwelcome distraction from the main issue: where is FP and what can we do to recover her?

I haven't really got time for constant blogging...

...but it's important you all know the latest.
I searched everywhere in the garden and noticed that 2 more bushes are gone (?), I'd forgotten to dig up a jumbone from months ago and THAT was NOT pleasant but also I found a ransom note for the return of FP which I think is a hoax because it signed "From the Frogs".
We had a problem with the frogs a while ago when we filled in a pond and loads of them died diving into a mere puddle when what they remembered was a deepish pond with weed and a newt-in-residence. You can imagine the piles of bodies, I'm sure.
Anyway, the truth is that some days you can still hear the frogs protesting in the undergrowth around the new patio flags but we do our best to ignore them. Now it appears they are trying to extort a new, deeper pond out of us by pretending to be holding FP hostage under a bridge. I ask you.
I've already passed on this hoax note to the ex-police dogs and am expecting a raid on the frogs soonest.

Trouble

FP's disappeared. This is serious because I suspect she's been taken by the squirrels. I have to investigate...
In the meantime I'm making sure that ST realises how serious the situation is by waking him up at night. You never know, I might just get lucky and find FP by the back fence at 3am.
Sigh, it's hard without FP here: I worry constantly that ST will neglect the important snack regime and food times. I must keep a careful eye on him.

Eau de Fox

I had it all planned. I stumbled across some fox doot in the park and knew instantly that it was perfect for me and the weather conditions (mizzling rain was forecast which is essential for activating Eau de Fox). I looked around to make sure ST and FP were distracted; they weren't but I have been training them recently to suspect nothing whenever I roll on the grass. They just think that I'm hot and trying to cool down. I smiled reassuringly at them and rolled extravagantly in my doot, realising too late that FP had come over to check out my activities. Damn but she's a wily one!
Immediately they discussed putting me in the bath as soon as we got home and I think it was only the arrival of Murphy the tugger-pinching boxer that made them forget.
My plan was progressing smoothly as the mizzle was not due until the evening when I normally hassle ST into opening the door for me at irregular intervals, regardless of the weather. Sometimes all I do is sniff the air from the doorway. Other times I go belting up the garden and smash into the fence, make my paws really muddy and then try to make it all the way up the stairs without being attacked with a towel.
Suddenly, part way through the day, I noticed that ST and FP were talking about going out - and they weren't taking me with them!
"Curses!", I thought, "If ST's out then I can't be because there's no-one to open the door!" My plans were in ruins.
And then I thought, "Hang on, I can wait until they get back and then go out in the mizzle to activate the doot smell on my fur and then I can transfer the scent of Eau de Fox on their going out clothes and scupper all future plans to go off and do stuff without me!" I'll ask you now to imagine a slightly deranged grin on my face as I chuckled quietly under my breath.
Needless to say that these innovations to my original plan worked perfectly and there'll be no more gallivanting for those two until the dry cleaning is done!

It's all gone so quiet

I'm waiting for a Bjork moment to liven me up.

Fiddling about

Well, you can tell autumn's coming by the fact that ST is flatly, utterly and absolutely refusing to leave the door open for me. I now have (HAVE) to remember to wait for him to open the door for me when I pile through the house at top speed, or I will crash and probably end up with a Noodle Ache. And (AND) I have to wait even if I have just seen 12 foxes pooing in my back garden and even if I have just seen the squirrel hordes cresting the top of the far off hills en route to rout us from our beds and even if I have just seen JipDoodle from across the way using his next-door neighbour's cat flap to gain entry to their house so he can smash up their dustbin and lay the blame on their cat! People will ask themselves "Where's that collie who normally barks orders to us?" and then they'll make it up as they go along and there'll be stuff all over the place...I hate the autumn.

Actually I quite like it. Apart from the closed door thing, of course. Autumn for me means more puddles in the park to drop Tugger (new) in; more things to sniff (because, let's face it, a branch lying on the ground which wasn't there the day before IS incredibly interesting); piles of leaves created by park rangers with those blower thingys need redistributing back to a scattered position. I'm slightly teasing you though because of course the best thing about autumn is that it heralds the start of the Squirrel Season proper, as they are forced to ground in search of nuts! It was like a squirrel playground in the park this morning as they practice synchronised tree climbing/descending. All I need to do is make sure I take careful notice of which trees are producing the most enticing squirrel food and they'll be like fish in a barrel (rubs paws in anticipation and grins :) )