Mr Dixon

I'm giving out lots of empathy, sniff the breeze.

Some days there's just loads of poo around and when you've as many legs as I have it is inevitable that you will tread in some. Sometimes it's really messy poo and sometimes it's dry, chalky stuff and you think "Phew! That's lucky", because it is all relative, you see: dry poo is better than sloppy poo, even though both stink and you'd rather not tread in either.

And that's a bit like life. People can sometimes remind me of poo, especially teenaged people:

• they can smell bad, or not so bad
• they can leave you thinking that you'd cheerfully never set eyes on them again, or "Phew"
• they will always be there, just like poo

I know that this is probably no replacement for the offer of bubble-wrap to jump on but perhaps my little nugget of wisdom delivered straight from the heart will bring a little smile to your face?

With best wishes for a better day etc.

NunuThunder

Rain check

Hmmm, looks like my Special Puddle will be only sparingly refilled over the week ahead. I love my Special Puddle; it is shaped like a really big foot (a foot about 4 meters long, in fact) and it's on some grass so there are lovely boggy environs. I always drop Tugger in my Special Puddle and we laugh together - me, FP & ST - as one of them has to go in and get Tugger back. I tell them: "This is why you have wellies!" and I think they understand.

When I'm in my Special Puddle I dig up the muddy water to make sure that my belly is completely covered. This is how I ensure that FP knows I been kipping on the bed (muddy paw prints, dust everywhere) during the day whilst she was off doing whatever she finds more interesting clearly than spending every waking minute tending to me. I have fur to be brushed, a snack schedule to keep and there's always barking to be done! It's sometimes more than a little dog can manage on her own! Sigh.

Now that the evenings are drawing out I think I might take watercolour painting.

Extra

ST has asked me to point out that scented poo bags have the very serious consequence of making his coat pocket stink worse than poo. In his opinion that is but quite a few ladies follow him about the park and chat him up. Partly this is why I bark vigorously at their dogs; I am FP's eyes and ears at all times.

Scented poo bags

Yes, that's right; scented poo bags.

Why?

Especially for you

It is Lent, so I'm told. Personally I think giving up stuff proves you can do without it, so why should you have it at all? I don't need a pig's ear but it does me good and then I can go forth in the world and do good for/to others. Yes; I am a very willing collie always letting people know the best way of doing things (including walking along a straight path in the park or driving the car).

My profound thoughts this morning are provoked by the plight of Princess Leia's Dad, Mr Dixon. He's changed his photo on Twitter to a very serious one. I think he should go nuts today and drink as much whiskey as he can manage, eat as much chocolate as there is available because youp'pve;; earnt ;/// it.

Ooops. I made a few spelling errors there but then I have no thumbs and this is what happens when I don't look at the keyboard. I have especially muddy paws this morning and I'm getting a bit anxious that we're not going to the park as soon as I'd like to - all the squirrel action will be over for the day!

NunuThunder - the mini series

I have just the BEST idea for getting the economy going again (single-handedly, I tell you!):

• NunuThunder Goes About (working title)

Yes.

Now, I've literally only just thought of this so there's much to be planned yet but for a start I could be trailed by a discreet team of camera(wo)men* on a 'regular' walk in the park. Avid (industry reference, did you spot that?) readers will know that I am heavily involved with protecting London from the Squirrel Army and my alacrity (OMG! I cannot be stopped!) in reporting back to the Leggy Dalmatian is often all that stands between you, me and the oblivion that would follow a successful takeover by the bushy-tailed critters. Yes.

I think only highly skilled camera operators could do this kind of work because anything less than total professionalism would blow my cover and then I'd have to, you know, go barking mad (you see, I'm hilarious too!).

What else? Ah, now this is where we could make some decent commercial cash on the project because I am a Connoisseur of snacks. We could try all sorts of snacks in EVERY episode and who wouldn't pay for that kind of coverage?

The whole thing has legs (4, in fact) and I think the right team would make light works (I'm on fire!) of the pilot in no time.

My availability is detailed off to the side somewhere on this blog, look, over there...I have to keep snack times as 'me time', is all I would stipulate. Alright? Lovely.

*BBC trained people welcome as I can 'do' PC (or not).

Strike a pose

Yesterday after being frantically busy I realised that I am not properly appreciated. No.

So I went on strike and made my picket line at the top of the stairs.

I chose this location very carefully:

• I fit exactly in the gap between the banister and the wall
• I could get to my feet at any moment and send anyone stepping over me flying, so the jeopardy is great - only I know when it will happen
• All my needs can be met whilst at the top of the stairs (I can smell cheese/ham/pigs ears in the kitchen, I can bark at anyone approaching the front garden, I can make sure ST doesn't sneak out, I can mob anyone being allowed in etc)
• The positioning of the lights in the hall make my eyes glow, giving me a certain je ne sais quoi (oh yes, I speak French!)

But mostly I have to admit it was the getting-in-the-way thing that swung it for the top of the stairs, otherwise I'd have gone and lain where I normally do and watched the garden and slept whilst being on strike.

My terms and conditions were met, BTW. ST & FP have agreed to keep better time when fetching my snacks and to stop spending so much time dicking about on weekend mornings so that we reach the park before all the greyhounds have cleared the squirrel areas.