The last custard cream & some treachery

FP challenged me. She said she didn't think that I would be able to hear her rustling the packet of custard creams if I was standing in the back garden. I suppose some of you already suspect the ending to this...FP ate the last custard cream whilst I was standing outside by the plot ST used to plant some potatoes. I looked up at the study window to see if she was rustling the packet and there she was munching away!
Rather spitefully I then peed on the spuds - she KNOWS I love custard creams!

More footage - geddit? FOOT-age...Never mind

I kept vigilant, sniffing the air in Trafalgar Square for Deano's feet. How was I to know that 50 squillion marathon runners in sweaty trainers would be too much for 1 collie? I couldn't find him by sniff alone but I did get pooed on by a pigeon. If you ask me Trafalgar Sq is not the place to hang out when one wants to impress good looking dogs in the park later. Mind you, I could add that the way people walk after running a marathon is really not the way to attract admirers! It's like their ankles have stopped working.

I could write loads waiting for this footage to load...Hmmm, now I can't think of anything to say. Wait! I've been walking in A Different Place for the last few days and...look at that, would you! The moment I start on what could have been a really long tail (geddit?) of me romping through brambles & ditches after foxes the upload finishes! Typical. Well, I suppose I could keep my fox hunting (whoops! I DON'T hunt foxes - honest) story for another time. But it's been nice to get back on the PC after FP's been hogging it for ages. Oh look! The image is there now; it's just a short clip of me sniffing for Deano. Enjoy!

Marathon 09 footage! Deano does it again!

I took my camera with me to meet FP's brother Deano at the finish of the 2009 Flora London Marathon.
There were so many people around that I felt like I had run 26 and a bit miles! So many scents (mostly, I have to say, of sweat and feet when we got to the finish muster point!) but not all were unpleasant and it's certainly added a lot to my scents database. I shall be pee-mailing all other dogs with these database up-dates over the next few weeks.
Deano had had several adventures getting about Londres (as I like to call our fair home city, since I am a dog of many languages) but luckily he had no trouble at all finding his way along the Marathon course in 4hrs, 32mins & 30secs. I'd have done it quicker but I am not (NOT) mad enough to spend a hot Sunday in this way. Prefer my usual walk, in fact! Deano ran the Marathon for Children with Leukaemia & this is a link to his fundraising page:
https://www.bmycharity.com/V2/event.aspx?e=00cf96d2-43f8-4bed-bce4-53f188127b72

BTW, if you're viewing this in Firefox you may need to up-date your Flash player (annoyingly).

Failed tomato crop

I don't know how to break it to FP that her tomato crop is looking REALLY bad. There are a few little shoots but I think she should have used proper soil and not that stuff that had been in the garden next to the greenhouse. Hmmm, have to think about it carefully.
Running Man is here. He's staying until after he's run a long way apparently. He's also my passport into Greenwich Park on Sunday so that I can check my pee-mails from years ago.

FP

FP has had a tough week so this evening when Kong Wubba (The Ancient) was FINALLY revealed as nothing more than a blue rubber ball wrapped in some tough cloth I spent some quality time* with her just in case she couldn't hold it together.
Ah, Kong Wubba (The Ancient); a true toy. One of the best. One I'll never forget.
Actually I had some pretty good sport with my 'new' blue rubber ball, if I'm honest, and there's some extra sport to be had from the remains of Kong Wubba (The Ancient) because the smaller ball is still wrapped in the blue cloth. It's basically the same as the small Kong Wubba ST fetched all the way from Scotland for me months ago! I haven't lost a toy so much as GAINED 1 1/2 toys! Bonus!
Oh, now saying bonus has made me think of Bonios and now I've noticed that it's 9pm and therefore time for a Dentastix. Mmmmm, dentastix....
But I have to tell you before I go that I walked with like a thousand other dogs in the park today and was good. Yes, good. Not barky and standoffish.

This weekend I shall be mostly...

...watching a local celebrity run the Marathon! Whooo! Exciting.
I met a Jack Russell in Greenwich Park once, years ago, but nonetheless it seems we'll be back there this coming weekend & I shall sniff out any pee-mails which have been left for me since I was last there.
FP tells me that it is just as well that we dogs leave distinctive pee-mails as lots of humans wee against trees, lampposts, fences etc before the start of the Marathon. Urgh. Last time FP & ST were there, 4 women dressed as Cornish pasties used their extensive costumes to hide their having a pee before they started running. I shall never (NEVER) eat pasty again.
It seems that Marathon Running-Man (MRM) has been appearing on a local radio show in the run up to the Marathon & he's been asked to sign his sweaty vest post run for it to be won by some lucky punter. Again, I'm kind of thinking urgh but it's for a good cause. MRM's running for Children with Leukaemia and you can sponsor him @

www.bmycharity.com/simondean007

Go on!

Better than tempting Fate...

...by prodding him in the backside with a red hot pitchfork.
We were ambling through one of the quieter areas of the park this morning when ST came out with that saying about Fate and a pitchfork. FP & I shared one of those raised eyebrow moments where we each know exactly what the other is thinking. I can also confirm that the raised eyebrows were partly because neither of was listening to what ST was talking about before he mentioned Fate & the pitchfork, which is a lesson to us both to pay more attention in the future if this is where his thoughts are leading these days.
FP disrupted my evening yesterday by cleaning up the study. This can mean only one thing: she's about to start hitting the books again. Which can only mean one thing: snacks! The funny thing about humans (or FP at least) is how snacking helps concentration. Whereas I find that if there's a snack within 2 metres of me, I cannot focus on anything else!
BTW, I'm over my thunder nervousness & no longer have to hang out in the bathroom (where I am safe). Weather conditions play havoc with my plans & several important errands are now behind schedule. In other news, there are many foxes about in the garden & the squirrels are again in league with the cats. Oscar, the white cat invader from earlier posts, has reappeared on the doorstep meowing in an attempt to lure FP over to the Other Side.

Gibbering wreck

That thunder yesterday really freaked me out! I had to hide in the study stress panting all evening and was barky this morning in the park too. You might well point out that it was one (1) rumble and some way off but what about the pressure, eh?

Out to lunch

Today my walk was shrouded in mist but we still noticed that a female owner walked straight past her dog's poo, without picking it up. Can you imagine what that poor dog's garden looks like? All covered in mess that his owner doesn't bother to remove. Yuk. That's the trouble with some owners; they selfishly leave their dog's waste for others to tread in in the park or on the garden so that their poor dog has to be really careful when checking the perimeter for intruders. This type of dog-owner is horrible and you shouldn't ever be nice to them.

Snort

I have learned how to snort in a way that gets ST into trouble. All dogs can snort, though few deploy the snort in a timely fashion designed to re-start a stalled walk in the park. I am thinking of including a chapter on snorting in my forthcoming book "Being A Proper Dog", by Barky Barkyson (that's my official writing name, BTW).
So, what happens is that ST, bless him, often pauses and strikes up conversations with other dog walkers in the park causing distress and annoyance to me. I've been racking my brains for a while now, trying to come up with a way to get him moving again and the other day I hit on it quite by chance. ST stopped to talk to another owner and I got bored, wandered a little way off and started sniffing. I don't know what it was I sniffed but it was so awful that I had to snort to get it out of my nose! Because it is difficult to spell what a snort actually sounds like, I will simply write 'snort' in the following re-enactment of the scene:
ST: "Morning, how're you?"
Other Owner (OO): "Good, you?"
ST: "Ah, not too bad. Nice weather again."
OO: "Yes, it's meant to be nice all week and then worse next."
ST: "Well, we need a bit of rain for the garden. We're planting seeds, hoping to grow our own again."
OO: "Really how's that going?"
ST: "It's fine, fine. We'll see how it goes."
OO: "I'm going shopping later. Might buy a new pair of these wellies. Wrong time of year for wellies, mind, but I really like these...
SNORT!
OO: "What?"
ST: "Hmmm?"
OO: "I thought you said something."
ST: "No, no. Nothing."

OO moved on giving ST a bit of a look and I knew then the power of a snort. Yes.

Timber wee-ed on my head

That's the last time I try to be nice to him! We went out for a surprise turn around the park yesterday and met Timber with his owner who I think is called TelephoneGuy. Usual dog practice is to update one another by pee-mail, Timber went first and I thought he'd finished so I started downloading the message and he started up again, peeing on my head as he did! Typical male.
Male dogs sometimes have tried to take possession of ST & FP by peeing on them even though I am right there and clearly the rightful owner of these two humans. I guess not all dogs have the manners collies are blessed with.
On the positive side, the park was full of squirrels yesterday so I got some decent stalking and chasing. Of course it does mean that their forces are gathering and we have to be on guard for the squirrel invasion.

Title here

Met Bella in the park today; it was nice to see her. She's been running with her owner recently so she doesn't get the same sniff-ercise as she used to in the Days Before Jogging. I described all the scents I have been picking up over the last few days & I'll have some exciting tit-bits to pass on tomorrow as FP, ST & I took a turn around the block this evening.
FP was wondering if Sara was still reading this blog earlier. Get in touch if you are! FP misses you in the library.
The better weather means I can return to my old ways of tearing through the house and straight out into the garden, only briefly pausing to make certain that ST has noticed that I might need to have a snack when I come back in. It's tiring making sure that the perimeter is safe from all the Usual Suspects (cats, squirrels, foxes, squirrels, squirrels).