Well, let's see

I'm very busy.

Lurchers

I just remembered that I wanted to say a word or two about lurchers.
Lurchers are fine dogs and much to be admired (except for Paddy who needs to be barked at). I enjoy lurchers for the following reasons:

1. They run fast
2. They don't mind being barked at
3. They run fast
4. They mostly wear coats that look silly but don't let it hold them back
5. They run fast

Yes.

Kittens on a spinning thing

I Skidded about on ice today and wore myself out until I had to go and lie down. I was wise though and lay where I knew I could not be disturbed by any hoovering-type implements. ST, as I have said before, has a very bad obsession with hoovering. And now he's asleep on the sofa. Perhaps I could go through his pockets...

Just a thought on icy puddles; really they are a very great health and safety concern. I think the park rangers should stop smashing up the surface of the lily pond so that the ducks trapped beneath don't die any worse than they have already (!) and instead they should go about making sure that we dogs can run unimpeded across the terraces. I've lost count of the number of times I have nearly pulled a muscle over the past few weeks as one of my many hundreds of legs (I have more legs the faster I move - it's technical and if I explained you wouldn't understand as there's lots of physics involved) has gone off at a different angle than is usual for a high-speed dog of great purpose. Yes.

Oh and another thing, I feel that once they have broken up the puddles, the park rangers should find me some treats to eat. Yes!

15 cannot play at that game

I tried giving the full Berry Eyes for 80 mins but kept being distracted by the England 'team's' lack of play. Such a relief to watch Ireland and France straight afterward or would have had no rugby at all today.

2 can play at that game!

I have made a discovery which has made me very cross.

It seems FP has been going to a place called Work everyday so that she can eat ham and sometimes chicken sandwiches without sharing them with me. This extreme behaviour leaves me no alternative but to reduce the amount of bed and sofa space I allocate FP until she comes to her senses and realises that Sharing Is Good, particularly when I am the one getting the extras. This is not unreasonable.

How did I come by this knowledge you ask? Well, actually I kept finding plastic boxes in FP's bag (which I check each time I find it for security reasons - a squirrel could easily hide inside). These boxes had an interesting scent so I chewed them all up, except for the most recent one I found which I hid in my room after being disturbed with my head in a rucksack. Only FP discovered what I'd done and I overheard her telling ST that it was lucky she'd found it or she'd have had nothing to take her sandwiches to Work in. They both gave a 'Look' but we'll see later on when I give them both plenty of 'Looks' whilst they're trying to watch the rugby! Berry Eyes for 80 mins!

Tweeting Hell!

FP's making funny noises and I've had to wait ages to get her off the PC so that I can post my own v. important opinions here. Honestly.

IMO, the park has become very skiddy and something should be done about it. Yes.

I've seen several of the Usual Suspects skittering about going "Whoa, whoaaa!" and I've noted how they are more than happy to laugh like drains when I slip and slide on an iced-over puddle but when it comes to sheet ice on the pathways - well, you'd imagine that it was all done deliberately! By the dogs!

Dogs don't make pathways slippery, for goodness sake! It's cats and squirrels.

For yes, people, you have it on my good authority that the snow and ice is completely and utterly the fault of these two bands of bandits.

Sigh, I've been banging on about this for so long I grow weary that you'll ever truly understand the threat of cats and squirrels. Nonetheless...

So, by all means get the shovels out and break up the compacted snow but take the long view and realise that ultimately you will have to get rid of the cats and squirrels to ensure that this doesn't happen in another 18 years. Yes.

Live text updates of the cricket

I think we should all follow the text updates here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/england/7870610.stm
It really is most amusing. Yes.
Other amusing things which have happened today:
Hmmm, been a bit of a quiet one actually. There was the moment when FP discovered yet another of my indiscretions involving a Stupid Little Biscuit and an empty jaffa cake wrapper. It wasn't 'amusing' in the traditional sense of having us all guffawing. Rather I attempted to stop FP getting into the study and she did her best not to topple backwards down the stairs - I should perhaps not jump up at her on the landing.
ST took me back to my usual park and made snow angels.