Nunu Thunder thinks...

Taking January Off

2012-02-05T14:52:00.000Z

It's good to take a break every now and then, arrive back all raring to go etc...
Actually I'm planning an afternoon on the sofa rather than doing any raring. TBH, it's just a bit too cold for me to be really enthused about stuff. If I had a slanket, I reckon I'd be bundled up in it.

Foxes

2011-12-15T12:51:00.000Z

I rarely set eyes on the foxes I know to be hiding in the bushes in the park but I can smell them a mile off. Given the number of thorns I pick up plunging about in the brambles searching for them, it would be nice to actually see one of these elusive beasts every now and then.

In other news, I have a very aching hip.

Advent-tageous

2011-12-01T19:37:00.000Z

I don't have an advent calendar due to some neglect of FP's but if I did have one it would have my favorite snacks in each of the windows.

I'd like it to start with a pig's ear and I wouldn't mind to be fair if there was a pig's ear behind each and every window! However, for the sake of variety I will accept Bonios, Jumbones, gravy bones, Kit Kats, Kitty cats, squirrels, Toblerones, Markies, scraps of ham, anything FP's eating and anything ST thinks is good. This is not too much to ask.

Television

2011-11-02T21:40:00.000Z

From my place on the sofa I have a good view of the television. The programmes ST & FP watch don't always make me laugh. And I don't like adverts much. Especially the ones where people 'play' glasses as musical instruments. It's a stupid thing to do.

There's also a ridiculous need apparently to discover the nation's favourite Abba song. I ask you!

I enjoy Poirot though. Yes, give me a 2 hour Poirot and I'm as happy as I can be, burdened as I am by early fireworks and what-not.

Ready Already Ongoing and Ongoing

2011-10-26T13:05:00.000+01:00

For a few days now I have been using FP's dissertation folder as a pillow. Should I tell her I am ready to begin writing Chapter One, or just not get involved?

I notice that some of you have already started letting off fireworks. Why would you do this? And what (WHAT!) is the point in letting off one firework in the small hours of the morning? Surely the best thing about fireworks is enjoying a well-managed display with a large crowd? Don't even get me started on asking how much of a pillock one has to be to let off fireworks during daylight hours...

Puppies are still a problem for me in the park. Where do they get all their energy from?

I tried eating another jelly baby. Sticky. I put it in my bed.

Curious to see...

2011-10-12T15:52:00.003+01:00

#cataloguingsongs
It ran out! Nevermind; worth knowing it runs out.

Jelly Babies

2011-10-11T18:16:00.000+01:00

I cannot work these little fellas out. At all.

Silent mode

2011-10-07T12:55:00.001+01:00

Someone's switched FP to 'silent mode' again. You know, when she's quiet like this she makes clicking noises like a dolphin to communicate with me. It's kind of sweet but not always easy to fully understand straight away.

Luckily I've been listening to the Count of Monte Cristo and will see if I can work out some scheme like that of Valentine de Villefort and Monsieur Noirtier de Villefort!

In other news, I met Agent Slim in the park this morning and we both barked at a massive puppy called Merlin.

Calculations

2011-09-28T18:55:00.001+01:00

FP mumbled something about some maths lessons she was in once. I got the impression things hadn't gone well for her at the time and briefly supposed that this is one of the reasons she forgets to halve or quarter at least one ingredient whenever she modifies a recipe...

Anyhoo, it got me thinking about the times I use maths. Being a collie of course I am naturally given to the counting of sheep (and roughly pointing out to shepherds the general direction all x number of them were heading in when I last saw them). Now, did you see how I introduced the concept of 'x' just then?

'X' is going to help me explain some of the more frequent calculations I do in a normal day:

Scenario: a squirrel is over there *points*, beneath a tree looking for its nuts. There are x trees within x metres of the squirrel. There are x friendly squirrels already up x of the trees but twice as many unfriendly squirrels up half of these trees. You are a collie weighing x, capable of attaining x speed in x seconds (on a good day) and there is a slope of x degrees between you and the ~~target~~ squirrel which will slow you down by a third.

Question: Will you catch it?

So you see, my daily walk in the park is not a walk in the park, as the saying goes (I've watched Top Gun). Rather, it is a huge maths problem and I think it's worth remembering that *starts licking paw*

Exhausting research

2011-09-15T16:59:00.000+01:00

We were pretty sure that their were no actual cats in these books but we had to be sure so we read them cover to cover.

And then we had to sleep. Heavily.

Stupid prickly things

2011-08-28T22:27:00.001+01:00

There's really nothing so great, IMO, as scampering about a field. Ah, the feeling of freedom, the wind in my ears and all the loveliness of being a slim dog on the hoof...Well, you know, slimmer than of late (see earlier post where vet probably messed up weighing machine results and declared me a heavy lass, the bas****).

Anyhoo, there I was sprinting about, fly style, in all directions I fancied for no more than 3 seconds at a time then BANG! we're in the car and heading back to Londres (where my Midlands/Borders accents sometimes stymies the locals)!

Traffic. Bah!

Crowded streets. Bah again.

Take me back to the wide open spaces or if not the wide open spaces then the steep hill where the deer hang out chewing whatever it is they chew unsuspecting of the presence of the NunuThunder!

I have to admit that recently I have been much taken with the RNIB audio book of the Count of Monte Cristo and it may be colouring my blog style, so stop me if I meander into close detailed descriptions of FP's dress or ST's stash of poo bags...

But I digress; where I meant to stay was on the topic of tearing about in fields only to arrive home, assume the position for a Brushing Brushing and discover one of those prickly things in my tail feathers.

We've had the devil of a time getting it out and it almost came to scissors*. But it is gone now and I'm not sorry either as it was damnably uncomfortable to sit on so that I was forced to lay down my weary head throughout the journey and snore loudly from just outside Birmingham until Kilburn, when I was required to navigate from the back seat whilst all the time sitting on a prickly thing. If you were in Kilburn, Marble Arch, Victoria or Clapham today and saw what you imagined to be a dog snarling at you from the back seat of a passing car, then rest assured it was I, Nunu, and it wasn't you, it was that prickly thing in my tail feathers causing the rictus expression.

*Always bad to hear scissors mentioned in relation to the tail feathers.

Another bathroom

2011-08-26T15:13:00.000+01:00

Here's a thing: it is raining so hard here that drops are smashing their way down the chimney and playing a sort of modern racket composition that sounds like gongs.

This noise is having a bad affect on my nerves so if you want me, I'll be in the bathroom.

Adios.

Recent thinking

2011-08-24T11:42:00.000+01:00

I woke from a twitchy paw dream just now and figured I should share some of my thoughts:

Deer - I don't get these animals. Why would you have a fluffy white target on your backside? It might as well be a multi-coloured target painted there...
Hills - oh my aching joints! I wish there was a button I could press when I wanted flatter ground without having to go up hill to find it
Jumbones - I'm glad that FP's given up trying to feed me those joint care 'treats' and reinstated Jumbones. Mind you, perhaps the hills would be easier if I did eat those nasty things. Might do some more thinking on this issue...
Puddles - a certain puddle, of which I have grown very fond, has refilled with rain water! This is a Good Thing. Yes.

I am expecting thunder

2011-08-07T14:21:00.000+01:00

Owing to atmospheric conditions I am spending a lot of time panting & preparing to hide either in the bath or the downstairs loo (not in the loo itself, you understand, just the room). It is difficult to enjoy gravy bones when this anxious.

Hill climbing

2011-08-01T12:44:00.000+01:00

I need emergency scones and quick! I climbed a hill/cliff this morning. Who will bring me scones? *woe*

Sore shoulder

2011-07-28T17:44:00.000+01:00

Not that any of you sent me cards to mark the occasion but I recently turned 7 years old.

I have developed Wisdom commensurate with my Age. I'm keeping it to myself for the time being as you are all much more interesting without the benefit of what I could tell you.

I have also developed Sore Shoulders. This is impacting on how often I can post to this blog - getting on the chair to reach the keyboard is not an insubstantial task (I have legs and tail feathers to arrange in lady-like fashion, after all). Aching limbs also means less Tugger chasing which is impacting on how many rolls I can perform on the terraces. I should explain; for a long while now I have been able to fool both ST & FP into thinking I am victory rolling on Tugger after each good catch, whereas in fact I am rolling for the sake of rolling. Dogs love rolling on grass and sometimes there is fox poo, sometimes there isn't but a roll is a roll and they're nearly impossible to resist.

So that's all from me for the time being. It is almost supper time and I haven't licked my front paws in preparation yet, or dug up my bed.

Where are they?

2011-07-08T12:56:00.000+01:00

Don't get me wrong; I've enjoyed staying with Nunuthunder, ST & FP but my real owners should be back soon.

I'm gonna keep watch for them...

Comparison

2011-07-01T16:32:00.000+01:00

My temporary owner, FP, has compared me to a deflated rugby ball and decided I would not be worth throwing for NunuThunder to chase. Phew! Apparently, if my legs had been shorter it would have been a different outcome.

Also, apparently if I had not raided the kitchen dustbin the comparison would not have taken place.

I don't understand why bins are so precious to humans. I do understand that humans put stuff in the bin that they have finished with. If a dog like me can find a use for your discarded wrappers and containers, why not leave me to it? *tilts head, all cute*

Peep-bo!

2011-07-01T12:17:00.001+01:00

Car hammock funs. I quite like this hammock in the car as it means I can fall heavily asleep and if the car stops or goes downhill I won't fall off the seat. I look like I'm not enjoying this ride but in fact I had spotted a gravy bone on the floor - crazy love gravy bones, me!

Stealth

2011-06-30T19:38:00.000+01:00

I like to go in the garden and bark sometimes. It's one of the joys of being a dog.

Recently though I have been perfecting the art of barking whilst almost entirely invisible. Yeah, I know, amazing! Look, I've put a photo of the garden I was barking in but I bet you won't be able to spot where I am:

Agent Slim

2011-06-27T13:05:00.000+01:00

My name is Agent Slim, you can call me AS for short.

I chase flies, lie in the sun and drink water. I also bark if you walk past my house (even on the other side of the road). I bark if you disturb me whilst I'm out the back too, so don't imagine for a second that you can try sneaking by.

This is a photo of me and my most recent boyfriend:

Me, Agent Slim (AS)

This is Boyfriend (BF). He's lovely.

Tick...but not the good kind

2011-06-13T20:19:00.000+01:00

A tick got on my neck. Bad.

Luckily, FP has some tools and she managed to get rid of this tick. She had to hook the tick in the tool and twist v-e-r-y gently until it popped out, jaws and all. FP looked at the beast carefully and there were bits waving about in the hook and sticking out the other side was a big, fat creamy white coloured body.

I think this will serve as a lesson to me to be more careful when I'm plunging about in the undergrowth looking for foxes and what not. Or, taking those celebratory rolls on the grass after I've caught Tugger in the park. Ah, well frankly I haven't a clue where I picked up this rotten old tick thing.

The thing is to make sure when grooming your dogs that you check for ticks. They can be black or creamy colured and you HAVE to make sure that you get out ALL of the jaw parts as well as the body. Don't rush the process; take your time and if you aren't sure, go to the vet. After you've removed a tick, keep an eye on your dog for 24 hours at least to make sure that we aren't behaving oddly (more oddly than usual that is).

Well, that's all from me right now. I'm watching Twitter for news on something else...This does not mean that I'm ignoring you. It just means that I'm busy (again).

Okay, bye *waves*

Tremendously busy 2

2011-06-03T22:37:00.000+01:00

I have been busy before but I'm extra busy right now.

I have extra people to supervise and, let me tell you, people are not always ready to do as they are told. People are willful and contrary, they walk in bizarre directions and sometimes they are not carrying gravy bones so it's difficult to maintain an interest in them. Frankly if you don't have a gravy bone in your pocket, I will leave you to wonder about the park on your own.

I am a busy dog and require gravy bones on a regular basis.

Got me some new treasures

2011-05-24T22:08:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I spent some time mooching about the collection of some friends. That's time well spent!

I also discovered a hole in a fence but let's keep that to ourselves, huh? *winks*

In other news, things are quiet. *looks over shoulder*

Courgette

2011-05-19T13:16:00.000+01:00

The cucmber's gone but now there's courgette on the kitchen floor.

Again, I cannot eat this stuff - HALP!

Maybe one of you could persuade FP that she cannot slice veg like a proper chef? It's like a nightmare watching her...

Cucumber

2011-05-18T08:49:00.000+01:00

There's a piece of cucumber on the kitchen floor. One of you has to come and move it because I can't eat that and it's on the floor. Someone might slip on it. And I can't eat cucumber.

Help! Arghhhhh *runs away*

Route planner

2011-05-03T14:31:00.001+01:00

I've blogged before (ages ago) about how dogs should be careful about the routes their owners take on important journeys. Recently FP took some snaps which show EXACTLY how observant a dog should be:

Agent Slim demonstrates how small dogs can keep track of the route

NunuThunder strikes a regal pose whilst checking the route

Judgement

2011-04-18T21:34:00.000+01:00

Have you ever gone somewhere to do something and you couldn't because someone was so crap at their job that even simple things were impossible? Well THAT!

In other news, I took a yoghurt carton out of the bin. I don't like yoghurt & I only did it because, um, I forget actually now you come to mention it. Anyway, I did it and then I went and sat in the bath.

It has been a strange day.

Tremendously busy

2011-04-02T15:49:00.000+01:00

It's been a while since I last posted and this is because I am a Busy Collie. Yes.
Recently I was required for 4 days to supervise AS. In order to do this effectively I moved into her house and garden where there is a problem with Stupid Foxes.
I have also been carrying out various chores about my own house and garden whilst FP has been ~~watching cricket~~ working on her dissertation. Amongst these chores is making desserts featuring plums. I like plums.

Contrast

2011-03-11T15:21:00.000Z

Yesterday afternoon at this time I was 'in' a webinar. This afternoon I am snoozing on the sofa.

For the record I am at my end of the sofa, not ST's. I've chosen this end because I spent some time and no little effort digging and nuzzling my cushion cover and it is JUST RIGHT. I'm so comfortable. Yes.

I'm 'at' a webinar

2011-03-10T15:06:00.000Z

Oh, it's starting! Apparently people from all around the world are 'with' me.

In other news, this morning I had an interesting walk with AS. She's getting more used to walking with me and FP so we're able to walk more quickly, stopping to sniff, very carefully, any blades of grass and leaves, sticks and disturbed areas of grass that we pass by. AS has a much bigger scent database than I do, so I'm learning a great deal from her. In return I am trying to pass on my love and the very real joy to digging in muddy puddles. AS isn't really getting this muddy puddle love thing I have going on at the moment but we have time to work on this. Yes.

I have to pay proper attention now, they're talking about notation...

Fairness

2011-03-08T19:30:00.000Z

This afternoon became bath time for Nunu. Now, admittedly I have been going nuts in muddy puddles recently, digging them up (to make them last longer = Nunu Logic Thinking!) and shaking out the mucky drips onto AS! Yay, it's been great fun!

This morning though I pushed my luck and went a little bit into the smelly pond. Only a little bit but enough apparently to push FP into the bath option.

I am fluffy now and smell clean, not foxy or of brackish water.

In other news, will ST ever ring FP?

I am all about helping

2011-03-03T15:49:00.000Z

Yes, it's true. I am a very helpful Nunu.

Why, just this morning I visited an injured, much loved friend and will be visiting again, perhaps bringing biscuits and spiriting away for a good walking, her dog who you may remember from previous posts on this blog, Agent Slim (AS).

If you need help, I can probably help but please remember that I need to be asleep on the sofa at various times during the day.

Asleep on the sofa

2011-02-28T13:30:00.000Z

Earlier I tried sleeping over by the window but it's not as good as sleeping here on the sofa.

FP and I had a chat about the fact that I did go in the puddles in the park today so I'm not the cleanest dog in the room (although I am the only dog in the room) and my concession to this chat was to move to the end of the sofa with my blanket on it. I was at the other end originally because ST is not there right now. There are no strategic advantages to ST's end of the sofa, I just like to sleep there when he isn't.

Always back up your files

2011-02-10T18:47:00.000Z

At least TRY to keep track of your usernames and passwords
Don't put off backing up your computer files
Before you download a programme, ask yourself if you really want it
Delete programmes you are not using
Empty the trash every now and then!

That is all.

I sees things & I laughs

2011-02-08T22:31:00.000Z

Stuff's funny all over the world and it makes me ROFL. True fact about Nunu.

When no-one's around...

2011-01-26T14:52:00.000Z

FP and I have been having a chat about where the butter's gone.

I made out I was listening but really only heard "...turn my back for 5 minutes...", "...picking up after you..." and such.

Butter's great though, isn't it? I think it's great and I'm going to ask other dogs if they agree so that FP can get over this obsession she has with me not gaining access to buttery goodness every now and then.

Right, must time for me to sit at the top of the stairs growling *waves*

Let sleeping cats lie

2011-01-25T14:19:00.000Z

FP & I have been having 'a chat' about what I should do when I find a cat sleeping on the pavement.

I'm a reasonable dog, some would say more than reasonable on some issues, but I find my placid, easy-going nature severely tested by cats sleeping on pavements. Yes.

Take this morning. I left for my walk and there on the pavement was a sleeping cat.

As we continue our walk to the park, there was another sleeping cat sleeping in the way, on the pavement asleep.

In a quiet street very close to the park gates there was a sleeping cat IN THE ROAD! Yes; IN THE ROAD!

I'm sure you'll agree that all my reasonable-ness has been used up for today, n'est-ce pas?

NunuThunder: very excellent and reasonable dog.

Stiff legs

2011-01-24T13:01:00.001Z

Walked to the park this morning & I'm paying the price now; my legs are awfully stiff. If I was human-shaped, I'd be putting my hand on my hips & stretching left & right slowly, with a grimace on my face.

On the plus side I think FP has a blister on each foot and if that doesn't teach her a lesson, I don't know what will!

Disappointingly there were no good sniffs to be had from any of the gardens en route to the park, which surprised me because there were lots of bins out & I would have thought the foxes might have been in action. FP giggled about the fact that I missed the fluffiest cat which was sitting on a wall. To be fair, we were walking up a steeeep hill at the time & I was working hard to pull FP along with me - cannot stand it when she lags behind on hills!

In other news, we did not bump into Molly so we still have her ball.
P.S.: My paws need so much licking that I hardly know how I find time to do anything else in a day!

Gum in the grass

2011-01-16T19:21:00.000Z

This morning in celebration of a great catch* I put Tugger on the grass and then rolled on it. I stood up when FP started screaming loudly.

Apparently rolling on boggy, wet grass is upsetting for owners to see and, indeed, when I stood up I was a complete mess. I shook but that made FP scream again as she was standing close by...

Apparently wet, muddy dogs shaking near people is upsetting...Who knew?

Later it was discovered that I had inadvertently also rolled on some chewing gum, which had stuck in my fur. Can you guess what happened later? Yes, that's right, I was put in the bath.

Apparently chewing gum does not wash out of fur, just as it does not wash out of human hair, so FP had to snip a little of my mane. This is not good.

I am the fluffiest dog in the house this evening. I smell nice and I don't have gum in my fur anymore. If you saw me, you would want to cuddle me.

*Tugger flies great through the air and I can usually catch it on one bounce off firm ground since, rather than watching its flight, I like to belt off in the general direction I think it's going in. With the ground being so heavy, good bounces are few and far between (I'm more likely to end up with muddy water in my eyes from a splash down). If I pull of a great catch without letting Tugger bounce, I think a celebratory roll is not too much.

Anger Management

2011-01-12T17:07:00.000Z

Last October I used this blog to vent about cat owners.

At the time I was a Poorly-Nunu and didn't think about whether what I wrote might make cat owners and even cats feel down. Afterwards when I was a Better-Again Nunu I thought about it and I've been thinking about it again today.

This is a wide open space where I put my thoughts and people can read them and tell me what they think in return. That's how blogs, Twitter, Facebook etc work - wide open spaces. What happens on the blog doesn't stay on the blog, it gets out in the world and cat owners who read my October post might still remember that I didn't sound like the cute Nunu I really am (honest).

So here's what I will do: I will probably get cross again at some point (you know, about people leaving open the garden gate or people letting off fireworks). But I'm not going to come here to this blog and vent when that happens. I'm gonna go chew my blue ball or dig up my bed. Have a snooze. Drink some water. After I've calmed down, if I want to talk to you about my feelings, I'll come here and do it thoughtfully remembering that this is where you get to form opinions about me.

Of course, there'll still be silly posts about how many puddles I jumped in on my walk (this morning it was ALL OF THEM!)... I was in such a state I had to be towelled off before I got in the car *ROFL*

Fit for 2011

2011-01-05T17:03:00.000Z

I did some running with a friend

He's faster than me and looks crazy when he's running

Then he looked sad 'cos he hurt his foot

So I went and sat in my tree

Then I went home.

True Fact

2010-12-28T17:01:00.001Z

I'm right ~~handed~~ pawed.

Helping you

2010-12-20T18:09:00.000Z

One of the toughest things about this time of year is not knowing what all your presents are. I can help.

For a fee, I will visit your Christmas Tree* and sniff each and every present, telling you exactly which ones contain food and are therefore of interest, and which are just other stuff that you cannot eat.

*I will not pee against your Christmas Tree (unless it is beautifully decorated and I wish to express my pleasure at seeing it)

An early Christmas present for you

2010-12-08T12:03:00.001Z

This is hilarious.

I needed a laugh today as this morning in the park Tugger was pinched by a dog who is Faster Than Me. To retrieve Tugger I had to see off this Robber Dog's Stroppy Friend and move faster than is strictly wise for a 6 year old with no warm up before hand. I was worn out by all this, I tell you, WORN OUT.

I'm in love

2010-12-05T12:28:00.000Z

There's this terrier in the park and he's my ideal dog. He's smaller then me, slower than me & has much less stamina. I can dominate him all ways up!

Powdery snow

2010-12-02T12:32:00.000Z

Today's snow is the powdery stuff that balls up in between my claws - ouch.

In other news, um, well things are pretty quiet. Even my neighbours aren't doing much.

Snow

2010-11-30T08:33:00.003Z

CHARGE!
Well, ish anyway. I wanted to run about madly in the snow but I was attached to FP via a lead - I wish I was, like, wi-fi enabled in the street, but it is true you couldn't trust me with all the cats tempting me like they do.
Noticed an important difference in snow types: today's type was Wet Snow which didn't ball up in my paws & make me have to stop every few minutes to chew it out. Did you even know there was a type of snow that makes it hard for a dog to run about? Did you???

The power of ask

2010-11-25T14:50:00.001Z

Asking questions is how we find out stuff and negotiate our way through the world. We all need to feel like we can ask stuff and, in turn, we should do what we can to make others feel that asking us stuff won't win them a swift and damning judgement of an unfavourable nature - asking questions doesn't mean someone is stupid or ignorant, it means they've recognised a need for information.

I like to do my asking in different ways, depending on who I'm dealing with. For example, if a puppy runs up to me and goes all squirmy and rolling around on the ground under my nose, I ask it to stop confusing me with this submissive behaviour by Barking Loudly. It doesn't always work; recently a puppy jumped on my head and made it difficult to continue barking.

Other times I ask for treats off humans by sitting in front of them, sucking in my cheeks to make it look like I am starved and waving a paw weakly. This works in most cases.

Quite often I ask all dogs and humans in the park to form up in neat lines and walk in the same direction to satisfy my Collie Need for Order. This NEVER works.

Misleading scents

2010-11-23T13:36:00.000Z

As I understand it, humans haven't the same facility to sniff out stuff that's buried as dogs do. Too bad. Me, I can pick up a trail and follow it very efficiently thanks to my nose but FP the other day had to dig about on a website in all manner of confusing directions before she found what she was searching for.

The website in question is Too Big. Worse still there are a lot of Dead Ends on it and apparently Unfinished Projects, with no indication of when content might be added or up-dated.

There are however plenty of e-mail addresses FP can write to in order to ask questions but she told me that if she wanted to spend the rest of her life in fruitless pursuits, she'd resume training me to run through weave poles or jump a hurdle.

I thought that was a bit mean actually, as I did learn to jump the hurdle in the end. I also had to dig the longest hole in dog history to bury that metre long hurdle pole and finally bring that training to an end. However, I can still find it because I can still smell it! It isn't a hyperlink into nothingness or (worse) a long list of Irrelevant Fora! I also check it regularly to ensure no fox has pinched it, so it isn't treated as a task with no finish either.

If you have a website, here's my advice:

Make sure you control it, don't let it control you
Make sure people finish what they start on it
Make sure you build it with the user in mind
Make sure you test it on people who aren't part of building it
Make sure you get rid of unused parts of it.

Okay, cheers byeee!

Dear FP

2010-11-17T17:56:00.000Z

You put me in the bath, made me all soapy and lovely smelling but I have rolled in mud now and things are back to normal!

Pahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Love Nunu

ps: my tea is due in 5 minutes - don't be late

Don't give me a list!

2010-11-08T18:28:00.000Z

I feel like the Internets is following me...

And you remember what I said about it being Firework Night - singular - not Fireworks As & When You Please (inc. very, very late at night, sometimes in the afternoon)? Yes? You do remember? Well, so quit with all the banging and fizzing screamers already!

I'm sick of it! I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't really trust that I'm not going to tread on a sparkler spike in the park...It's ruining my life! *woe, general gibbering*

New toy

2010-11-05T16:50:00.000Z

I am writing this from my newest toy. It has a touch screen, if you please! As one who struggles with a regular keyboard, I am finding this touch screen really quite a breath of fresh air! I have got the hang of switching between a numbers or a letters screen and I'm sure at some point I will grow used to finding the punctuation I require between the two screens as well. Probably get along quite well in time!
On a bit of a downer note, it is Bonfire Night. Note, please the singular 'night', not 'nights'. One night of fireworks is plenty, people.

I am listening to The Killers

2010-11-04T19:17:00.000Z

Are We Human? they sing and I dance about barking because I am a dog, not a human, but it doesn't matter because FP's dancing too and she is human! Whooo, let's flick the lights on and off!

Not rock & rolling

2010-11-03T13:47:00.000Z

Rolling in the park this morning = mud in fur = FP grooming me earlier than usual = all blissed out = gonna spend the afternoon listening to jazz.

Unhandled Error

2010-10-31T18:22:00.000Z

I was saddened to read that our friend Tom had been subject to some saliva which caused beeping. The setter in question was probably swept away by how much fun Tom was being as he ran on*. An ineffectual owner is a curse in situations like this.

Anyway it set me thinking in my special collie way of how humans could all do a bit more thinking sometimes...

*Setters take an awful lot of outrunning, Tom, thumbs up!

Three Irishmen in a vet's waiting room...

2010-10-29T11:46:00.000+01:00

...only outnumbered by the ~~idiots~~ cat owners provocatively placing their sickie moggies in front of the stressed out dogs.

For cat baskets read LUNCH BOXES & why is that not obvious to the cat owning amongst you?

I mean, pardon me for being a dog and all that, but seriously cat owners you are not the only ones in the world and if I'm at the vet's it is NOT because I want to be! It's because I'm sick or injured and being there is STRESSFUL so when you place a cat in a box right there in front of me and it sees me and starts making that unearthly yowling noise, what do you think is going to happen? I'd like to point out that you could have avoided ever having to have gone to the effort of raising your eyebrows and dishing out the hard stares by BOTHERING TO LOOK AROUND YOU AND SEEING THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE AND ANIMALS IN THE WORLD, IT'S NOT JUST YOU AND YOUR VICIOUS, SPITTING CAT EVEN THOUGH YOU'D LOVE IT THAT WAY!

In other news, I enjoyed my walk in the park this morning.

Ouch

2010-10-22T21:17:00.000+01:00

That's really all I have to say...

Feeling a bit down?

2010-10-21T13:18:00.001+01:00

I gather that times are hard. FP & I sat listening to the radio yesterday as others variously ranted, raved, coaxed & cajoled depending on their 'politics'.

Now, I don't know for sure that 'politics' aren't a bit like fleas (certainly I have seen humans scratching their heads whilst discussing them, which is indicative) but I do know when it's time to offer some good old-fashioned collie advice:

Roll in fox doot. Yes.

Rolling in fox doot lifts the spirit and the effects are long lasting. Let me give you an example, after a really decent roll not so long back I was doing some running. I picked up so much speed at one point that a big gust of fox doot smell washed over me when I slowed and the air about me caught up. It was fantastic *looks off into middle distance, remembering...*

Running up that hill

2010-10-17T18:26:00.000+01:00

It's a big steep hill in a wood and I love it *punches air* Get in!

Tell Malcolm I found his key

2010-10-16T17:13:00.001+01:00

I had to go to the police station this morning to drop off a key I found whilst out on my walk. By the grace of my immense Collie Power, I was able to learn that it was Malcolm's key (actually I heard FP reading the message on the keyring to ST).

Exciting stuff, huh? I'll bet even Resolver Hound never went to a police station!

Mmmm

2010-10-10T16:27:00.000+01:00

Hello (FP's) sandwich. My name is NunuThunder.

Yes Tugger!

2010-10-07T16:29:00.000+01:00

Picture the scene: car pulls in, door opens, and I'm launched!

Launched, I tell you!

I can run, jump, grab Tugger from the air, then look for all the world as if I'm going to bring it back to FP & ST before dropping it half way and running off to supervise other random dogs in the vicinity.

Normal service is resumed!

No Tugger

2010-10-06T16:36:00.002+01:00

Yes, no Tugger in the park today as FP & I were unaccompanied by the mightiest 'Tugger Tosser' in the land - ST!

You can tell why I wanted to qualify the term tosser by keeping Tugger in there, can't you? And this reminds me of something I was reading today about free listing as a research method to help with information retrieval. If I ever catch up with Resolver Hound, I'm planning to question him on the size of his vocabulary because he seems very capable at finding his way around.

You might recall my past post about a collie who had around 340 words and got on TV because it could fetch its toy from the next room. Well, I dare say most collies out there when invited to bring their toy from the next room would probably end up bringing the one they have most fun with (often it's the one which exercises their humans the most!), so I don't think that collie is SOOOO special on this evidence.

I would however be impressed if that collie had made a list of toys. And more impressed still if it had displayed its preferences for the toys by placing them in a hierarchy - most fun at the top, tooth-snagging rags at the bottom. If it happened that a reasonable number of collies had done this listing, we could then compare lists and derive from the results the ultimate toy for collies*. Then, if collies were also librarians**, they could use this technique to make sure that all the collie catalog users had appropriate keywords to search with so that they could locate the toys on the shelves***. BTW, this catalog would have nothing to do with cats & would be called something along the lines of 'Golden Information Retriever'.

*You couldn't do this with spaniels. I've seen spaniels who were just happy to splash in puddles.

**It could happen.

***Shelves are no obstacle to collies.

The Road to Fitness

2010-10-05T18:37:00.000+01:00

Owing to the horrendous cut on my paw I have been confined to base camp, walked on the lead, and prevented from playing energetically with ANY of my toys - until now!

Yays, I'm on the road to full fitness and may even be able to persuade FP to bring Tugger to the park with us tomorrow. The wet weather has not helped me at all; I needed to keep my paw dry in order for the cut to heal.

Bandages on a dog's legs are not easy, covering them with a plastic bag increases the potential to slip and my sockie-boot things tend to twist around and there's a split where the wet can get in and (AND) the leather parts wear out quickly and (AND AND!) they really smell once they get wet!

What I need is for someone to design a protective sockie-boot thing that goes like a harness over my back. A bit like waders with braces. The material needs to be hard-wearing and waterproof. The sockie-boot is okay for dry conditions and light usage mostly on grass but not great in the rain and on paths. I might try and draw a picture of what I mean later...

Healing Hands

2010-10-02T17:35:00.000+01:00

I think FP's magic bandaging technique has made a difference! My cut paw is much better and I'm doing my best to help by sleeping on my back most of the day. If you happen upon me whilst I am sleeping on my back, feel free to rub my belly *intense stare*.
In other news I am starting to take an interest in French rugby - no less incomprehensible than the English game at this stage but also less rain. I might suggest that they play the golf there next time!

The Curse of Being an Over-Achiever

2010-09-30T19:18:00.000+01:00

As I am ordered by the vet to rest as much as possible I have been spending more time than usual at the computer.

My Poorly Paw is mending (yays!) but slowly (boos!). I am bandaged by my good nurse, FP, and she uses strong tape, God bless her, to ensure I stay that way (booooos!)

This is my woe. Someone else's woe takes the form of wanting to understand the symbols on cooker dials. Did you ever hear of such a thing!? Clearly, like me, that person is much too intelligent for their own good. My advice is sit in the way and bark a very great deal.

Sigh *looks at bandaged paw and slowly raises one eye-brow*

More Ouch!

2010-09-29T19:23:00.000+01:00

Oww, ohhh, ow. Etc.

If you are a dog owner who cannot resist the appeal of a pair of big brown eyes then just get out of the kitchen already!

I know, I know; this makes no sense! But my point is ST & FP let me run about this morning (after I got through sitting on the path & barking my head off*) in the park. I stalked a squirrel! It was fun.

But then, oh! then my paw was agony. I had to keep stopping and clutching Poorly Paw into my chest. If you had been there, you may have heard me utter some Naughty Words**.

The moral of this sorry tail (do you see what I did there?) is:

WAIT UNTIL YOUR DOG'S PAW IS COMPLETELY BETTER BEFORE LETTING HIM/HER RESUME NORMAL WALKIES.

Yes.

*I hadn't actually got through barking I was drawing breath but ST & FP walked on as soon as I fell silent.

**Oh yes! Dogs know some choice expletives too! I could turn the air blue...

Stupid Bandage

2010-09-27T22:19:00.001+01:00

Title says it all really. Bandages are stupid and they don't stay on, the adhesive gets on my fur which means INTENSE licking, so then my tongue hurts and you get that kind of licked-too-many-envelopes vibe going on and then FP discovers the missing bandage and goes to town being all nurse-like (she's not bad, BTW) or you end up with a much longer foot than you are used to having and start tripping up. In which case the best thing to do is limp in front of FP and let her do the nurse-like thing.

NIGHTMARE WEEK!

And (AND!) those sockie-boot things smell once you've been wearing them a couple of days. Dry them on the radiator if they get wet or you'll have to move house.

Ouch!

2010-09-23T19:02:00.002+01:00

Ohh.
Ouch, ow, ouch, OUCH, ohhh.

Ow, ohh.

Basically, ow.

2nd attempt

2010-09-20T22:26:00.001+01:00

I started writing a post earlier this evening but got bored, lost interest and wandered off.

I'm back now.

I've been spending a lot of time at the top of the stairs. I've spoken before about the merits of this location in terms of being able to monitor most things I need to during the day. Nothing's really changed in this except the number of biscuits FP is sneaking into the study.

I'm worried about her; what if she isn't eating enough biscuits? If you see FP in the park or in the library, be sure to tell her that she should buy some jaffa cakes on the way home. Or some of those choco-whatsits (I love those). She's bound to listen to you *meaningful stare*

Vote for Motwoozle!

2010-09-14T14:03:00.001+01:00

We're excited about this

Raining acorns

2010-08-24T11:36:00.000+01:00

There's a tree next to the fountain where I like to do some digging and bubble-blowing. Anyhoo, my morning's digging and bubble-blowing was interrupted by green acorns falling to the ground around me.

I looked up and thought I caught sight of a dark shape moving about in the branches.

I looked left and right and thought I caught sight of some greyhounds 'hiding' behind nearby trees.

Have those cunning hounds hired a monkey to scatter acorns about the foot of a tree in order to lure squirrels into the open?

2 minutes past 10

2010-08-20T22:04:00.000+01:00

Any second now one of them will remember that NO-ONE'S GIVEN ME MY DENTASTIX!

Any second...

Oh honestly! Oi...FP...

Lines

2010-08-15T22:44:00.000+01:00

I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I'm so sorry FP please love me still I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags FP you are the best and really pretty I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags FP I love you more than ST I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags FP you are my inspiration I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags I must not rip up bin bags

The Art of Getting Toast

2010-08-13T12:37:00.000+01:00

When FP is eating toast I like to make her feel like she is surrounded by sitting to her left, her right, behind her and also in front of her. If I can manage it, I also sit on her.

Biscuits

2010-08-08T16:10:00.000+01:00

Humans: where ever you are in the house when you open a packet of biscuits, your dog WILL FIND YOU.

I saw that dog again

2010-08-06T20:46:00.000+01:00

Now I know that some of you will not find this post title much of a surprise 'cos, yeah, I'm a dog and it's not unusual for a dog to see other dogs, blah, blah, blah.

Well BLAH YOURSELVES! The dog I'm talking about is the one I chased into the Maze! And there he was NOT IN THE MAZE!

Clearly this dog - whose name I don't yet know but it's probably something like Super Dog or Resolver Hound - has Super Powers which make it impossible to trap him in a maze. Serious stuff.

I chased him into the maze in the first place because he is an idiot about squirrels. Who knew that he'd find his way out inside a week?

As one door opens, so does another one!

2010-08-03T17:42:00.000+01:00

Exciting news! I have just (bravely) taken a new route through to the kitchen, unaccompanied. Yes.

I have been through these new doors before but FP was always with me. Just now I did it on my own, only hesitating a little as I went. A great moment like this deserves more than a blog posting, though, so I am off now to bum some treats off ST, using my new route!

Scientific Research - Interpreting the Emotions of Cats

2010-07-23T13:58:00.001+01:00

I'm adding a linky for you to clicky.

*sighs and looks thoughtful* In some ways I realise that this research is useful and am happy to allow it to continue but, in other ways, it just makes me mad as hell.

*stands up and turns around to look out of the window* You see, cats are a provoking kind of animal. I was provoked the other evening whilst sitting at my gate. A human woman came along past my house being escorted BY HER CAT. Wrong in many ways. As I was ushered indoors before I could really get started with barking and growling at this up-start cat, I metaphorically shook my clenched paw at the world - IT IS NOT A CAT'S DUTY TO ESCORT PEOPLE! THAT'S WHAT DOGS DO.

*licks paw* I'm over it now but if you do decide to play Tagpuss and find yourself thinking "Awww, wook at the liccle puddycat..." just imagine being inconvenienced by having to wait until your cat is ready before you can leave for work in the morning. Then search for the tag which says 'scheming'.

PAIN

2010-07-21T18:52:00.000+01:00

Pain is not good

Captain Birdseye beard anyone?

2010-07-19T20:55:00.000+01:00

Shiver me timbers (mmmmm, shiver!) but the hot weather is making me moult like a, well, like a dog, in fact. Fur EVERYWHERE.

This evening alone, FP was able to fashion a Captain Birdseye beard from the fur she groomed out of me. Admittedly you'd be a younger, more rakish Captain Birdseye if you took this beard but imagine all the fun you can have on the high seas!

If you don't want a Captain Birdseye beard, you could probably have a short, severe bob haircut out of it...Anyone?

Roger's Thesaurus

2010-07-11T21:28:00.000+01:00

Call me odd ball but I have always used a thesaurus when writing. Essays, reports, business plans - the thesaurus is handy, handy, handy.

When I asked ST about using a thesaurus he surprised me. Here's a transcript of our conversation:

Me: Have you ever used a thesaurus?

ST: No.

Me: Oh. Why? *tilts head to encourage ST to open up and share*

ST: Because it's a big book and it's Roger's, not mine.

Me: *stops suddenly* What?

ST: It's true. It was never 'ST's Thesaurus', always 'Roger's Thesaurus'.

Me: Roger?

ST: Well, haven't you noticed that the publisher spelt Roger wrong? I always thought we were lucky the spelling error occured where it did or else it would have been 'Toger's Thesarus'

Me: ROFL!!

Using the web

2010-07-11T20:53:00.004+01:00

Today as we were walking in the park, I asked ST* if he had ever read about how best to phrase a search in a web search engine. Here's a transcript of our talk:

ST: No.

Me: Why?

ST: Never needed to.

Me: ? *lifts collie ears and tilts head*

ST: Well, like the other day, right, I put in a search for 'marrow tentacles' and most of the results that came up were to do with horror films, so I knew I had to change the search to something like 'growing marrows'. I didn't need to read any instructions on using the search engine to know that I hadn't used a good search term the first time.

Me: Oh. Do you know how web search engines work?

ST: Yes. There are all these spiders, all over the place they are, even in your house! 'Cos it's a web, see? And you put in your search terms and if one of the spiders is near the answer it holds up a card.

Me: What?

ST: It's true. There are spiders in your house, yeah, and that's how they can make your address appear on the web. They know where you live.

Me: ! *left collie ear at full extension*

ST: And then, yeah, the spiders - when they've got your answer and are holding up your card - they wait for a mega-pixie to come and paint it and that's how you see it on your computer.

Me: Is that a sqirrel over there?

ST: Where? No, I think it's a beer can

Me: Are you sure? I think it's a squirrel...

Anyway, that's kind of word for word how I found out that there's a lot more work to be done on ST.

*ST's knee has been poorly - a sickie knee. But it's getting better so I'm letting him come on walks again.

Someone's broken ST!

2010-07-03T20:28:00.000+01:00

...when I find out who it was I'm gonna hide all (ALL) of their toys and see how they like it! I am so cross right now...

Tyrone, the Recycled Rex

2010-06-23T19:06:00.000+01:00

Tugger - the Ages

2010-06-22T21:19:00.000+01:00

I've decided that I shall write a history of Tuggers.

I'm gonna take some photos, do a bit of writing about Tuggers and remember the Tuggers that have been lost at sea. You'll love it. But I haven't written it yet, so you'll have to wait.

Wait!

I'm temporarily changing ST's name

2010-06-20T14:45:00.001+01:00

Gonna call him DrillerKiller. I hope he finishes these few 'little' jobs soon.

In other news, I have been asked by the FA to run some motivational sessions with the England football team. I told them I couldn't be bothered. This would change though if I could take some hair dressers with me...You know what I'm saying. Sometimes plaits can be too tight...Short back and sides always suited FP's dad.

DrillerKiller moved a marrow/courgette plant to a place I was planning to dig some holes later. FtLoG, what do I have to do to get some decent digging space in MY OWN GARDEN?
Additional: DrillerKiller now understands why having more than one pair of shoes is vital. Yes.

Dear World...

2010-06-18T08:29:00.001+01:00

...Please help me to find the person in charge of Names so that I can ask for no babies to be named Vuvuzela (see earlier post comments).

Being a dog I gain experience a great deal more quickly than humans (see dog years) and I can tell you from the future that babies named Vuvuzela will be unhappy and friendless. They will not be dog owners. They will probably have squirrels in their attic spaces when they own houses.

This awful warning from the future was made possible by unanimous vote at a meeting of thousands of dogs all over the country who are older and wiser than any human thinks. Listen to us, humans!

In other news, I ate my breakfast this morning and my ears are now recovered. Yays! *punches air*

The lawn is, well, let's just say that the lawn is not doing so good. Thankfully the jumbone plants are beginning to reach out and claim parts of it - I am so looking forward to that crop! ST planted some sprouts next to the jumbones, I think for my convenience in the ongoing squirrel battle. Sprouts are pretty good for throwing (but only pre-cooked ones. Boiled sprouts work like boomerangs - you've been warned).

As you were, humans.

Vuvuzela

2010-06-14T19:42:00.000+01:00

I shall now force traffic to my blog by using the word 'vuvuzela'. I bid you all good day.
vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela vuvuzela
That'll do.

Although I don't like it when...

2010-06-11T22:00:00.000+01:00

...FP goes out without me, it does give me a chance to wrap ST around my little finger!
Today's efforts brought me more chicken for my lunch and some flavoured rice so no more of that plain rubbish - bleh!
FP attempted to shoot more of that grim paste stuff at me this morning. I discovered it mashed into my breakfast which (again, thanks to some good work I did on ST's heart strings) was some lamb meat. As soon as I tasted that grit nastiness, I went up on the lawn and puked. I think I managed to get rid of it all. Bit worried about the lawn actually. I wish ST would lay some more new turf...

I know she means well but...

2010-06-10T17:39:00.000+01:00

...if FP thinks that brown, gritty stuff she tried to inject straight down my throat this morning using a syringe (if you please!) is going to help make me feel better then I think SHE needs to see the vet, not me!

On the up-side, I am feeling quite pleased with the chicken elements of my current diet. Plain boiled rice not so much.

*returns to sick bed and lies down*

Official

2010-06-09T18:32:00.000+01:00

I am on a diet of rice and boiled chicken, plus I shall be tussling with FP later on as she attempts to get drops in my ear. I will eventually yield but I'll have rolled around on the floor for a bit.

I am still weak and feeble but will see visitors in ones and twos. Bless you all.

I don't feel well

2010-06-08T18:03:00.002+01:00

I need someone to carry me *stands with front paws raised*

Photography

2010-05-25T21:15:00.001+01:00

The other day in the park I ~~took some~~ directed FP to take some photographs.
Look at these angry looking beasts!

Marzipan Head

2010-05-19T16:22:00.000+01:00

Earthing up

2010-05-15T19:08:00.000+01:00

Being a Smart Collie it occurred to me earlier as ST was working in the garden that there's a dynamite joke in the pipeline! I shall explain...

I buried a jumbone in the garden a while back and it started growing. Yes. I thought about checking the Internet for advice on what I should do next to make sure of a good, plentiful crop but then ST's been out there a couple of times a week doing what he calls 'earthing up' of his 'potatoes'! Hilarious! You know what the joke is, right? Yeah, it's: "wait until he UNEARTHS the truth"! *Rofl*

Potatoes! He thinks my Jumbone Trees are Red Dukes or some such! *Wipes tears from eyes*

I can hardly type for laughing! *Bangs paw on desk twice*

I must compose myself or ST'll hear and wonder what's making me laugh so much...*Takes a deep breath and looks out over the garden*

Negotiate with me

2010-05-10T22:21:00.000+01:00

Let's face it people, I am by far the best choice for running the country:

I'm pretty fast - not greyhound-fast but I have explosive speed, a bit like a scrum half
Good nose - I can find stuff (mostly food stuff) easily
Loud - I can out-bark any other dog in London
Own driver - ST takes me about town in our own car so I won't need to employ extra chauffeur staff when I'm in power.

These are important considerations, I'm sure you'll agree. And I also have policies on cats, squirrels and the arrangement of mini rallies in my park (ban minis).

Can you get a better deal than that?! Doubt it...

Freaked out

2010-04-25T20:58:00.000+01:00

I am freaked out. I can't explain why. I can hear noises.

Scriptwriting

2010-04-21T22:14:00.000+01:00

I cannot blog for long this evening because I'm having to write a script for a TV series.

I'm going to be the star of the show. It will be mainly about me (bien sur) and there'll be bits and pieces about some other dogs I know and their owners. I know some real characters so it'll be hilarious.

Oh, before I go back to the script though, I have to tell you that the jumbone I buried last month is growing! Very exciting. There are 5 shoots and I've noticed that ST thinks they're potatoes - boy is he in for a shock!? I should include this in my script...